tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47795517234038992792024-03-05T20:25:09.213-05:00Antics of a Serial DaterA single woman's tongue-in-cheek
view of dating in the 21st century.Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-29511456819037373092013-09-12T17:33:00.000-04:002013-09-12T17:33:54.653-04:00Broken Dreams<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sam works retail. Personally, I hate retail. I hate the
hours and the lack of appreciation most large retailers have for their
employees; but, I digress (already).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Due
to the fact that Sam works retail, his hours are always different and there is
no way to get into a routine (I thrive on routine).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Accordingly, there are times when Sam and I
have a difficult time finding “private time”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we are banging away the other morning,
minding our own business (and obviously each other’s), when we hear a large CRRAAAACK.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had broken the bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We both had really busy days to begin so we didn’t think a
whole lot of it and kind of forgot about it that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That night, Sam got home late and came to bed
after I was already asleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sam requires very little rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He sleeps about 5-6 hours a night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must at least 7 or I’m falling
asleep at my desk (and my eye-bags look like suitcases). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we are sleeping that
night and I wake up and it feels like we are slanting toward one side of the
bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to roll up hill to get out of
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam wakes up too and we realize that
we had forgotten to deal with the broken bed. I murmured something about no sex
in the morning due to the bed being broken and next thing I know, Sam is out of
bed with the lights on, assessing the damage: AT 4:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two hours later, and we realize there is no fixing the bed
since one of the sideboards has a large crack in it and needs to be replaced.
Fortunately, I bought the extra insurance when I purchased the set a few years
ago. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I call the insurance company and they send me a 4 page
questionnaire to fill out, and one of the questions is as follows:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Provide a detailed explanation
(at least one full paragraph long) of exactly where and how the problem
occurred for each affected items as well as a comprehensive description of the
actual event and exactly what caused the damage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please be aware that we only will be able to
take further action on your service request when we get this information.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Worded poorly, I agree.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">REALLY? Ok. You people
apparently don’t understand with whom you are dealing….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My response: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We were having sex (we hadn’t
even gotten to the crazy stuff yet), when the bed frame broke. It was
approximately 7:00 am, and he was on top and I was on the bottom in the
missionary position when we heard a large crack and felt the bed bump. We
stopped having sex to look at the frame and noticed a large crack along the
left frame of the bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we tried to
get it to go back together with the footboard, it wouldn’t go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So we had to stop having sex and it was very
inconvenient. Should you require further details, pictures reenacting the scene
can be provided.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the meantime, Sam used gorilla glue to hold the bed frame
together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope that stuff is as good
as it claims....</span></div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-72728559212423202672013-08-17T16:03:00.000-04:002013-08-17T16:03:21.961-04:00A Hard Therapist is Good to Find<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span>The funny thing about falling in love (after a really long
time of lamenting love) is the reactions of my friends and family. <o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
Of course, in the beginning they think it’s just a passing
fling (since I am well known for my passing flings).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all wonder, after such a long time, if I
am even capable of the compromises that come with having a close, loving relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In their defense, I’ve been saying I don’t
want to be in a long-term relationship for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my
own defense….... <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fine. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have a defense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Then my friends and family start to notice things and point
them out to me (to show me how wrong I’ve been).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s when I began to realize I might be in
trouble here….<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span>My sisters, for example, were over for a picnic to meet “Sam”
for the first time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I get a text from
him saying he was a minute away and I immediately began to primp - fixing my
hair and checking myself in the mirror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My sister’s jaw drops open. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Holy
Shit! You REALLY like this guy!” she says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>((Blank stare from me))<o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Soon after, I go to my mother’s house to drop something off (a
few months after Sam and I had started dating). My mother takes one look at me
and says, “You look great! Isn’t being in love wonderful?! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>((sigh)) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss sex.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>((Blank stare from me))<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span>My friends’ reactions varied from: “This guy really seems to
make you happy! Now <strong>don’t</strong> fuck this up!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(<em>very nice</em>), <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to a less positive
reaction. The more I got to know Sam, the more I liked him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is sweet, affectionate and very complimentary
and doesn’t care who sees it. Some of my friends assumed that I was settling
for the first guy that came along after my daughter left (not true, I’ve had
others) and basically told me that because I was allowing Sam to sleep and leave clothing here that “this isn’t who you said you were”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing was that I was as surprised as
everyone else, but it annoyed me that they felt I needed to remain the same way
for the rest of my life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Well, excuse
me for being fucking complex.) Still others found the affectionate and loving
words this man said to me often to be “disgusting”. (Awwww! Someone’s kindness
and MY happiness bother you? That is so sweet!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fuck you very much.)<o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
As for me, I was pretty much a hot mess. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The feelings were coming on fast and furious,
fueled by massive quantities of sex and a lot of time spent together
daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was even sleeping over! (Something
I always said I abhorred!!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t
want to be away from him (hell, I didn’t want to be out of bed).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was dealing with past issues with which clearly I had previously not dealt, fighting these growing feelings and trying to talk myself
out of it at every turn; not to mention all of these people close to me telling
me varying opinions (opinions are like assholes….) and I knew I needed some
help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More help than I could give myself
through alcohol and denial.<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p> </o:p>So the first thing I did was to call two really good friends
of mine and they both said the same thing, “WHAT are you freaking out about?? You
do not need to figure out where this is going yet! Enjoy it for what it is and
take it one day at a time!” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That worked
…… for about a week.<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"></span><br />
I have a good friend that had been telling me for YEARS that
I needed to go see a professional to deal with my disdain of all things romance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She thought I protested too much and simply
had trust/abandonment issues that I hadn’t dealt with (Ya think??) and that I
could work through them with the help of a professional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(On a side note, I have been to therapy twice
before in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first was “couples
therapy” with my ex-husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the
second session, the therapist looks at me and says “I really think you need to
find your own therapist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your husband
has many issues to work out on his own.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>[<span style="color: red;">RED FLAG! RED FLAG!</span>])<span style="color: red;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
This time, I went to see “Bob”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob is a well-known psychologist in the area
and I had heard his name before as a man that doesn’t mince words and speaks very
openly (Yay! I can swear!). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He sounded
perfect for me! What I didn’t know at the time was that Bob specializes in sex
therapy. This became evident during out first appointment. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bob and I met twice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first time we talked about my boobs for
about the first 20 minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No really.
Bob was having a field day with my past sex life and analyzing the fuck out of
me and trying to figure out what was wrong with my current sex life
(NOTHING).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was almost Freudian in
nature in that while I was trying to talk about my trust and intimacy issues,
Bob wanted to talk about the impact growing large boobs at 15 years of age and
all of the sex that I have had in my lifetime had on my trust and intimacy
issues (quite a bit as it turns out, along with a few other little events like
my ex-husband leaving me and our infant daughter in the middle of the night). I
know it sounds like a creepy couple of therapy sessions but it actually wasn’t.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, I really like Bob, and I would
recommend him to others, if just for the entertainment factor alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
So here’s the thing about therapy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seldom does the therapist come to any
epiphanies for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More so, the act of
going to a therapist makes you more insightful about yourself and any
epiphanies are yours to find. So while Bob obsessed about my boobs and my sex
life, I would leave his office and start thinking about the important
shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I had taken the time and effort
to go to therapy, didn’t that mean that I was ready, willing and able to make
the changes for which I was seeking the therapy in the first place?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p></o:p>The answer, clearly, was “Yes”…..<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span></span> </span>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-43870845339325926992013-08-13T21:04:00.000-04:002013-08-14T07:08:34.032-04:00There. I said it.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One year ago today my daughter and I left for the long trip
across the country to take her to college….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Shortly after I dropped my daughter off at college and flew
back home, I was really getting into the groove of being an empty nester.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Granted, it took me a few weeks to get used
to not having my daughter around with whom to argue; but eventually, I brought
my gym equipment into her room, surrounded myself with friends, family and
copious quantities of alcohol, and was happily moving into the next phase of
my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I worked hard and I played hard
and was happier than a pig in shit. My daughter came for visits for both
Thanksgiving AND Christmas, so I was getting adequate amounts of “me time” and “daughter
time”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just when I started to go
through withdrawal from my kid, she would come home, piss me off and then
leave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life was grand!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I proceeded through life for the next 4 months, happily living
my life and writing my blog and flirting both virtually and realistically. For
the first time in the better part of 20 years, the focus was on me again….FINALLY!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ME, ME, ME!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fast forward to January 2013 (((place squirrely fast forward
noise here))), and the holidays, with all of their anticlimactic fervor, are
over;- and it’s fucking cold outside, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>boring
and fucking cold. I decide it’s time to begin to address some things in the house
that I felt I had neglected over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I decide I want to do some home improvements in my kitchen….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">About a year or so prior, a guy that (apparently) I went to
high school with (I don’t remember much from high school) friend requested me
on FB and around the same time, started reading Antics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At that time, I was getting a whole lot of friend
requests and I didn’t think much of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It just so happened, however, that the guy that friend requested me
worked for a large home improvement store and (not angry about this), was
pretty damn cute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>EUREKA!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Keep in mind that I have always considered myself to be the
world’s biggest cynic when it comes to love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My friends and many who read my blog would agree with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the past 20 years I have dated (short
term), and even had one tumultuous longish-term relationship; but for the most
part, I have been alone in raising my daughter and found love to be a messy,
annoying emotion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found that sex
without all of that silly emotion to be exactly what I was looking for and I
was content to happily live my life without love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I begin to text said hot guy for any information/discounts
he can give me, things progress from there and, Lo! and Behold! the naysayer of
all things romantic, the purveyor of pessimism for all things passion, FALLS IN
LOVE. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There. I said it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
the second time in public, I said it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For me, it’s been a bit of a rocky road, I’m not going to lie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually fought it in the beginning tooth
and nail. I didn’t think I wanted it, needed it or could possibly stand
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spoke to friends, family and even
saw a shrink. But, it happened and here we are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I guess the Antics blog will change a bit from here on
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will always write about my life,
including the “old days”, but I will also have to change gears a bit and
proceed from my life that is here and now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So this is the rest of my story…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-42933930774035218062013-02-14T14:14:00.000-05:002013-02-14T15:06:04.312-05:00Table for One<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you know what I can’t stand (other than bigots and bad
grammar)? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whiny single people. What’s worse
than that? That would be whiny single people on Valentine’s Day.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am single. I am single by choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe it’s because I refuse to settle for the
wrong person just to have someone, or perhaps I find compromising a pain in my
ass; but either way, it’s my choice. I truly don’t understand people that find
their self-worth in having a boy/girlfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
someone is desperate to have someone on Valentine’s Day then they should go
ahead and settle for someone with whom they have nothing in common, someone who
hogs the remote control or a loser that treats them like shit - and have a
wonderfully romantic day!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As with most things in life, you have two options: Feel
sorry for yourself for the hand that this big, mean world has dealt you; or, see
yourself as an intelligent, independent happy person and TREAT YOURSELF for
Valentine’s Day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Here’s how:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">First, understand that Valentine’s Day is basically a
Hallmark holiday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If someone doesn’t
show their sig-other how much they care about them on a daily basis, they are
an idiot and don’t deserve to have a sig-other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That being said, I like chocolate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Second, decorate your home with hearts and flowers for
February, regardless of whether you have someone in my life or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t see it as a glaring reminder that you
are single, but a wonderful reminder that you are loved by your parents, siblings,
kids, your friends and yes, even your pets. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Show those people that love you when you are
at your worst that you love and appreciate them for it. Make them little
treats, buy or make them a card, or just tell them that you love and appreciate
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Valentine’s Day does not have to
be just about lovers but just about love.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most importantly, love yourself first (I don’t mean in the
physical sense but if that makes you happy when you wake up in the morning, go
for it). We have all heard it a million times and it’s true: you will never find
someone to love you if you don’t love you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every year on Valentine’s Day I do something special for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year it was a massage and it was probably
one of the best Valentine’s Days I have ever had (remember, there are nearly
always openings at the salon on this day because all of the attached people are
out to dinner or whatever).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had an
awesome massage late in the day then went home all warm and mushy, had a glass
of wine and a nice dinner, read a great book and relaxed for the
evening. I didn’t have to argue with myself about what to watch on TV and I was
not disappointed in the least in the gift I had received.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This year - this evening - I am getting a facial (insert dirty
joke here and see footnote on facials). I scheduled it months ago and have been
looking forward to it ever since. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Again, </span>Valentine’s
Day doesn’t have to be a reminder that you are single, but more a
reminder that you are loved and that you love youself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And now for my advice to men for the day:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRgxb814sG1I6bKWbzAjBtFBfOK4AiU853weG2D4OLcrlVjddC2apObEASKhJEyoHBgoTftfh1i4j96zP_WZWJgffCLuxCsjWnj_xlmV1ZBWYniacj9WVSpS3la_ce-AFlLGVB8-Cssw/s1600/facial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="277" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRgxb814sG1I6bKWbzAjBtFBfOK4AiU853weG2D4OLcrlVjddC2apObEASKhJEyoHBgoTftfh1i4j96zP_WZWJgffCLuxCsjWnj_xlmV1ZBWYniacj9WVSpS3la_ce-AFlLGVB8-Cssw/s320/facial.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whenever
I tell certain friends that I am scheduled for a facial, they giggle. Of course
they are thinking of the dirty sense of the word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I typically giggle too because most of the
time I have the sense of humor of a 17 year-old boy; however, I am here to tell
you men the truth: women don’t enjoy your kind of facials. If you have been with a woman
that told you she did, she lies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is
trying to look either cool or freaky in bed but either way, she lied to you. If
you are a guy and you are into that kind of thing, you really should date a
porn star. Porn stars don’t like it either but they don’t really have much of a
choice if they want to get paid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your
girlfriend/wife can thank me now.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have a great
Valentine’s Day everyone, particularly if you are single!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-23766755570922243202013-01-12T20:17:00.000-05:002013-01-13T12:25:12.982-05:00Last Saturday Night Was Wild<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last week I did something that I have not done in a really
long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t feel bad about
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why should I? I am a single, adult
woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I work hard, take my
responsibilities seriously and rarely do anything for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided that it was time to do something
for ME. Here’s how it went.…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was Saturday night and I was restless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had not been out in a really long time and
I’ve had little contact with the opposite sex of late. I needed a change in a
bad way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t know what hit me but I was lying on my bed reading a
book and I looked at the clock. Nine o’clock on a Saturday night and I am home
alone reading?? What the hell is wrong with me? So I jumped out of bed and
threw open my closet doors with purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I start flinging clothing onto my bed like closet-vomit until I found
the perfect outfit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Small, comfortable, displayed
the parts I wanted to display and hid the parts I didn’t. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Satisfied, I walked out.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I chose a place I hadn’t been to in as long as I could
remember.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last time I was there it
hadn’t ended well and I left disappointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I knew that would NOT be the case on this night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admit I did open the door a little
tentatively; but I put on a brave face and ventured inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The place smelled a little funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pungent, a little like incense and a little
like a kind of cheese that I couldn’t put a name to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assumed it was all the dinners they serve
and decided to ignore it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually I
got used to it and couldn’t smell it at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I started to relax and finished my beverage while I looked
around the place and took in the sights when I decided to go outside for a
smoke. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hesitated, perhaps for a bit
too long, when I spotted what would eventually be my trouble of the night. The
first thing that popped into my head was “a cool drink of water”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know why, but it did.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was a little taken aback.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The entire thing was fast and furious and completely unexpected - particularly
in that place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I wasn’t complaining
and I wasn’t looking back! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By the end of the night, after the sweating and the
grunting, the rubbing and the caressing, the dirty talk and the sweet talk, I was completely satisfied and happy! I
didn’t regret what I had done, didn’t care what people thought! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I smiled as I looked back over my shining
clean refrigerator, complimented myself on a job well done, shut the door and
went to bed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had even killed an hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve said it before and I will say it again: I like to live
my life with no regrets. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-22266743285725300242012-11-27T16:15:00.001-05:002012-11-27T16:15:46.342-05:00Phuket is Not Just a City in Thailand<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So clearly the dating game has hit a brick wall. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A brick fire wall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know the kind that keeps fire on the other side of the wall? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yeah, that kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Granted, I may be a little gun-shy after the last guy (that I almost dated) who couldn’t even remember which chick I was; but the point is, things have been a little slow. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the other hand, I have been very busy adjusting to my new life as an empty nester.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been filling my days with such life-changing things as cleaning out closets, reorganizing bathrooms and making a Facebook page for my dog (true story).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My most recent venture (and as it turns out much more interactive than my dog’s Facebook page): a neighborhood book club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two years ago I belonged to a book club that I enjoyed a great deal. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It allowed me to read books that I would not normally read, and the women involved had vastly different viewpoints (conservative) than the people with which I usually hangout (not conservative).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a very diverse group that brought interesting input to the discussions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They even put up with my crazy antics and choice of mindless books (usually of a sexual nature). What I didn’t like about it was driving all over God’s creation to go to the meetings (which left drinking to a minimum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boooo! ). Eventually the vast differences in the members created bickering and in-fighting that led to the club’s demise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe it’s still active, but many of the original members are gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I remember on one particular evening we were finished discussing the book and somehow the talk turned to sex and then, our number of sexual partners. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Normally I know better than to share that information but Of COURSE the conversation began with “you can be honest” and “no one will judge you”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when I said my number (or the closest I can get), one of the girls (who has been married for many years and whose number is supposedly 4) said, “Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You were a real slut, weren’t you?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typically name calling doesn’t bother me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one is surprised by the fact that I enjoy sex and when you enjoy something, why would you want to have the same kind every day? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s kinda like eating cookies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you really like cookies do you want the same kind of cookie day after day?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No. You want a variety of cookies so they don’t get boring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it wasn’t so much the words coming out of the girl’s mouth that bothered me, but rather whose mouth out of which they came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never suspected this woman to be judgmental until that night and I never looked at her the same way again in the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway, eventually I quit that book club but I did miss the camaraderie and discussion so I thought I would start one in my own neighborhood (where I can just stagger home after an enlightening evening of profound discussion and massive quantities of wine). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I already had a few women in mind to invite but I know these women well and we are all pretty likeminded. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted some real differences of opinion so I thought of an older woman that lives in my hood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is probably in her 70’s, is a lot of fun and seems young at heart. (Come on! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She even got her first tattoo at 60!) So I assumed she would be okay with our group.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I phoned and invited her to join telling her I thought she would be a great addition and would bring some different perspective to the club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>She told me she was interested but the only thing holding her back was that she “didn’t like the ‘F’ word”. Uh-oh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyone who knows me (or reads my blog) knows the love affair I have with the word “fuck”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The way it rolls of the tongue when used in the middle of a fucking sentence; the harshness of it when it’s over annunciated as an expletive. FUCK! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s awesome! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And don’t even get me started on its versatility. Furthermore, it’s become so main-stream with so many variations used - even in freaking television these days - I just assumed that it was no longer offensive in casual conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously I wouldn’t use it in business; but, that girl in the suit speaking in a professional voice and acting like she cares what you have to say isn’t the real me anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Needless to say, I was pretty surprised by my friend’s reaction to the word and the fact that she hated it so much it would keep her from joining our group. What happens if someone chooses a book that uses the word freely? Would that offend her too?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I needed to know more. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Really? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why?”, I asked. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t really give me a specific reason but rather told me a story of a bunch of women with whom she used to go camping that used the word freely. She said that she eventually confessed her disdain for the word and in lieu of using the word they started calling it the “PH” word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait, what?? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s one thing not to use the word or to call it the “F” word in lieu of that, but even the acronym for it has to change? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>WHAT THE PHUK IS THAT???<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of course I love words and I have always been of the belief that words are only powerful if you empower them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, let’s say someone calls me an idiot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I am not an idiot and therefore those words are powerless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the other hand, let’s say someone calls me a slob.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t consider myself a slob but if I am honest with myself, I would have to admit that I do have a tendency to be messy; so that may hit a nerve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another example:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a famous politician is giving a speech. If you lean toward that candidate’s way of thinking, you find it to be powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, if you don’t agree with the candidate and you don’t believe a word that is coming out of his mouth, then his speech doesn’t mean shit to you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So why give so much power to one particular word?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of my friends have issues with certain words and I find it amusing (and totally use it against them).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of them doesn’t like the word “panties” and another hates the word “moist”. I can annoy them both in one fell swoop by saying “My panties are moist.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BAM!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As for me, I can only think of one word that can physically make me flinch when someone uses it: the “N” word. I don’t believe that word should be used by anyone be they white or black.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do however believe that I have good reason; having seen the movie Roots as a child and having been impacted by the horror of that movie, it takes me back every time I hear it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other than that, words don’t bother me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway, as there is no way for me to curb the entire group’s language, much less my own (nor would I want to), unfortunately there is one less addition to our book club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a shame that one word can be given so much power as to keep a woman that doesn’t get out much from having a fun evening out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do, however, have a great name for our club: it’s a Fucking Book Club.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So now I am curious if there any words in particular that my readers can’t stand? If so, is there a reason behind the disdain for the word or is it just the way it sounds?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-38308676415783776812012-10-20T09:23:00.002-04:002012-10-20T09:23:52.697-04:00Dating and the Internet: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Good:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You can meet a shitload of people these days over the
internet. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Back in the day you met
potential mates at a bar, church, a party, etc. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It required you to remove your ass from the
couch, get all gussied-up, and actually walk out of your house if you wanted to
meet someone (unless you were looking for a nice Jehovah Witness, in which case
you just needed to answer the door).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
were far less potential partners to choose from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you met one or two at a party, three or
four at church and a half a dozen at a club. This is not the case anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can sit on my couch in my pajamas with bedhead and no makeup and meet dozens of guys online.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Based on their profiles, </span>I can also determine their level of literacy (kind
of a deal-breaker for me) <em><strong>before</strong></em> the sappy love-notes even
start (that I would feel the need to correct for spelling and grammatical errors
and return to them).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can “ignore” them
if I choose, or email them if I want more information.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s awesome in an incredibly lazy kind of
way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Bad:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Choose a previous Antics blog post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Read it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Insert story here.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Ugly:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj50HM6kx9h0_yaYAIjaZuWaRRHD4bo9pW_zAJNZ49PEQji4tQyH4DJb8NFSsFF68xJlLalfGtg-O1L5Rv47EiyiQh6mw3BFjtPd8t-p7elBbHcsVkPK7zZrz5yqxlrbAoKCRqY2TqVQw/s1600/Me+and+Phoebe+distorted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj50HM6kx9h0_yaYAIjaZuWaRRHD4bo9pW_zAJNZ49PEQji4tQyH4DJb8NFSsFF68xJlLalfGtg-O1L5Rv47EiyiQh6mw3BFjtPd8t-p7elBbHcsVkPK7zZrz5yqxlrbAoKCRqY2TqVQw/s320/Me+and+Phoebe+distorted.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I was younger and fell head over heels in love with a
guy (and it ended in a fiery inferno), I admit that a few times I would show up
at his work or his house to see if he was (a) where he said he was going to be
and (b) with someone else in that place he said he was going to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people would call that stalking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stalking is such an ugly word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prefer “Curious As To His Whereabouts And Company”
(or CATH WAC).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> Doesn’t that sound
better??</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whatever you want to call it, back in the day before Facebook
and cell phones, one could only CATH WAC someone for a relatively short period
of time before they had to be at work or do their laundry or get other shit
done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These days, with all of the technology we have
at our disposal, you can CATH WAC someone from the comfort of your own home, or
car, or sitting on the fucking toilet for God’s sake. Sometimes, it is whether
you choose to not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>For example:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A good friend of my daughter’s
broke up with her long-term boyfriend when she left for college.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was pretty upset that the relationship
had ended. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She did her best to put on a
brave face but her first mistake was remaining friends with him on Facebook.
Inevitably, every time he made friends with a new chick, it came up on her news
feed (Hello, Salt! Please jump into my wound!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then of course, she would creep on those girls’ FB profiles (let this be
a lesson to you, HIDE YOUR FB PROFILE FROM PUBLIC VIEW!!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She tortured herself daily, hourly and even secondly
at times; literally watching him move on from halfway across the country! (Clearly we have come a long way from sitting in our cars in front of someone’s house.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To make matters worse, when she wasn’t creeping on FB, she
would get text messages from “friends” telling her all of the shitty things he
had done/was doing while she was away. She couldn’t get away from it even if
she had wanted to. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Eventually she got smart and blocked his ass on Facebook and
told her friends to knock it the fuck off, but the damage had been done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What should have taken a few weeks to get
over and begin to heal took a lot longer because technology kept pulling the
scab off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would be the ugly part.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Seriously, how many people do we know that may have
stalkerish tendencies that soon turn into full on get-a-retraining-order-whack-jobs because of the ease of technology? My guess is that it is far more today than ever before.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And don’t even get me started on camera phones and camcorders!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am forever looking for holes in the walls of
department store dressing rooms…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So what do you think? Has technology helped or hurt the dating scene? Has anyone had any similar experiences with
break-ups and technology?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-22400768570382394782012-10-09T22:27:00.000-04:002012-10-09T22:29:02.364-04:00Guest Blog: A Man's Point of View<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As one of the author’s readers and close friends, I have
immensely enjoyed the wit and wisdom of her blog. Yet in spite of the
classically distasteful spin regarding online dating sites, I have ventured
down this scary road on my own recently. With little time for the bar scene,
and rare other chances to meet someone of the opposite sex, I thought I would
give it a try. I figured it could not be as bad as everyone says. Certainly the
horror stories and blog posts are exaggerated, under artistic license, to
enhance the reader’s enjoyment. But alas, I was wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The stories, if anything, have been underplayed. Either in
an effort to protect the guilty or at least to not completely disenfranchise
the reader, she has made it seem that online dating is suspect, inconvenient,
and fraught with small dangers. It is a lot worse than that. It is a minefield
of misrepresentation, outright lunacy, and enough unresolved issues for a
thousand doctorate degrees in psychology.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I joined a common dating site, and like most, the users are
encouraged to post pictures. In fact, I am sure that profiles without pictures
are readily dismissed, as it is a prominent criterion for any search you may
want to do. The site makes it convenient to quickly eliminate the profiles
without pictures. Yes, we are all still hard-wired to be physically attracted
to our mates, at least initially. I know beauty is only skin deep, but butt-ugly is more often than not a deal breaker. So I have had to peruse thousands of
pictures of single women. Seriously, what are these women thinking? If a picture is
worth a thousand words, some of these photos are screaming in a foreign language.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As a community service, I thought I would share some
suggestions for female dating site users that may help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If your profile says that all your kids are over
18, then the picture you have with your son when he was 8 may be considered
outdated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you only post one picture, and it is a group
shot of you and your girlfriends at some event, try letting us know which one
you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me: “Are you the one in the middle?” Her: “No, I am the one second from
the left.” Me: “Can you introduce me to the one in the middle?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you are posting a picture of you with your
pet, that’s great. If it is just a picture of your pet, don’t bother. I am not
looking to date your pet (though some men on the site might be).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If your profile says you are <u>not</u> looking
for sex or “one night stands”, avoid the pictures of you on
your bed dressed in lingerie. It sends a mixed signal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you want to post something sexy or
provocative, avoid the overhead shot looking down your cleavage. It is way
overdone. Every woman has tits and there is probably a classier way to insure
he knows you have big ones. If you’re not looking for sex, see suggestion
above.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you post multiple pictures and they are all
close-up face shots, we are going to assume you are "larger than life" (and I am not talking personality here). </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If your profile says you drink socially, it's probably best to not have every picture you post be of you in a bar with a drink in your hand. Unless, of
course, you mean “socially” as in anytime I am near people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t post an old picture of you and your ex
from your wedding. Not sure exactly why this doesn’t work, but it just doesn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t post pictures in which you are not pictured. No one
cares about your favorite poem, the cool picture of butterflies you found on
the internet, or your grandma’s cookie recipe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t post the picture you got from “Glamour
Shots”. Men can recognize them easily and we know you don’t look like that
without hours of hair and make-up work done in a professionally lit studio.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">11.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Be aware of your background. The great pic of
you can be a turn off if behind you is a kitchen table full of junk, dishes
overflowing out of the sink, or your 200 count Prozac prescription bottle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">12.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Don’t take a picture of yourself in the mirror
holding your phone. This screams that you don’t have at least one friend who
would be willing to take a picture for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks for reading and happy hunting!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In his spare time, Brad writes his own incredibly intelligent blog. Check it out:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="http://commonsensiblyspeaking.com/" target="_blank">http://commonsensiblyspeaking.com/</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Hugs, Gina</div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-44466505402086526312012-09-11T11:33:00.001-04:002012-09-11T13:10:28.699-04:00Problem Solved<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This blog is an update to “The Quandry” posted on
08/25/2012, so if you haven’t read that one yet, I encourage you to do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go ahead. I’ll wait….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At the time that I wrote that previous blog, I skipped a
portion of our conversation due to my perceived lack of relevance to the
story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ultimately, it did become
relevant so I will have to back up a minute and fill you in:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">During our original meeting, somehow
the topic of vacation homes was brought up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He stated that he was on the look-out for a home near the beach where
his parents live in a different state. I stated that I was hunting for one
near my parents’ beach house as well, which ended up being not too far away from his parents’ home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (</span>See? Doesn’t seem real relevant does it?)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So when he called me a bit later to ask me to the ballgame (and
informed me of the many girls that he dates), he brought up the fact that he
had found a home very close to his parents and that he was looking for someone
to invest in a property with him. He then began a small “interview process” to
see if we might be compatible business partners (Wait. What?). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Call me a cynic (it’s okay, everyone else
does) but I barely know this guy and he is “interviewing” me for an investment
opportunity? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He begins his interview with the question “are you a
clean/neat person?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I answer that
cleanliness is a relative term and that if you were to ask my friends with kids,
they would probably say that I am. However, if you were to ask my mother (a certified
clean-freak) she would probably say “No”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He goes on to say that we would have to agree on which dates/weekends
each of us would get use of the place (of course, this is after he had already
informed me of his other two women, and all I can think of is that I would have
to anti-bacterial all of the counters each time I went there for fear he was
banging some girl in the kitchen). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He continues, “So ummm…let me ask you, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your voice sounds a little scratchy. Do you
smoke?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes I do.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I wanted to follow this answer up with the
fact that I do an incredible Kim Carnes impersonation of “Betty Davis Eyes” but
thought better of it.) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He continues, “Do you smoke in the house?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This seems like a legitimate question for a potential
housemate so I answer, “No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not
smoke in my house.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Next question: “So
you don’t smoke in your car?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Huh?? What the hell does my car have to do with this?? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I answer anyway, “Oh no, I totally smoke
in my car. I drive around all day for a living. My car is a rolling ashtray.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At this point, fully expecting his next question to be if he
can see my financial portfolio, I changed the subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Basically, </span>I have no interest in sharing my potential beach
house with anyone; as I have stated before, I am not a good sharer. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Three weeks go by and I don’t hear from this guy at
all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nada. Nothing. Zilch.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Saturday night I am out with some friends and my phone rings:
it’s him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let it go to voice mail
because (1) I am out; and (2) even if I were home I wouldn’t have answered it
because it’s Saturday night and I wouldn’t want him to KNOW that I was home on a Saturday night. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I get home, I check my voice mail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His message goes something like this, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hi Gina. I don’t remember whether you said
you like baseball or not, but I have these two tickets for tomorrow’s game and
I was wondering if you’d like to go?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Seriously dude?? We had a 10 minute
conversation about my disdain for baseball and your disdain for country line
dance which you compared to my disdain for baseball and you can’t remember
that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly I have left an
impression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was late so I answered via text:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Me:<span style="color: #0070c0;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was the one
that wasn’t too keen on baseball. Thanks anyway.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #0070c0;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #0070c0;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span>Him:
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #0070c0;">Oh ok.
Thanks.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #0070c0;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span>Me:<span style="color: #0070c0;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No problem. So
just out of curiosity, are you having a hard time keeping all of the girls
straight?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #0070c0;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span>Him:<span style="color: #0070c0;"> No, Smarty pants. Just was hoping not to go by myself.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; text-indent: -0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #0070c0;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span>Me:<span style="color: #0070c0;"> I gotta be honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have heard from you twice in 3 weeks and both times it was to find out
if I would accompany you to a baseball game so you “didn’t have to go alone”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not incredibly flattering.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Him:<span style="color: #0070c0;">
Good point. Sorry but I normally go with my daughter and she has to get ready
to go somewhere… </span>(blah, blah, fucking blah)<span style="color: #0070c0;">.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do remember now asking you before and
not at the last minute and you did mention not liking baseball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good night.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #0070c0;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span>Me:<span style="color: #0070c0;"> Night</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Him:<span style="color: #0070c0;">
You know the truth is I do have a lot of women that I see but when she said she
couldn’t make it earlier today it didn’t cross my mind that I had invited you
to another game.</span> (Gee, thanks)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #0070c0;">I just was interested in taking you to something that
meant something to me and didn’t think. Guess that’s selfish of me. Not
intentional to hurt you. Sorry.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Awww. Poor forgetful little martyr. Let's get down to nuts and bolts...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me:<span style="color: #0070c0;"> It’s
ok. The ball game thing isn’t a huge deal. I am just not the kind of woman that
chases a man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Call me old fashioned in
that regard. I thought I saw something, interest in both of our parts during
our appointment. So I pursued it, which I rarely do, and I don’t feel it’s very
reciprocated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clearly you are busy, I
get that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s one thing to be busy
with work and volunteer stuff and quite another to be busy with a bunch of
different women.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t stand in line
well and frankly, I don’t have to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And then he finally gets honest:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="color: #0070c0;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black;">Him:</span> I
was interested up until I asked you if you smoke.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, I actually knew this and I have no problem with
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I myself have certain standards (like
not dating a guy with 9 other girlfriends) and I don’t fault others for having
them too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I will tell you this: if and
when I ever figure out how to quit this stupid habit, it will NOT be to get a
man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be for ME.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Furthermore, why didn’t he just say this during our original phone conversation? Was he trying to keep his options open for a potential ballgame buddy? It really chaps my ass that I am not good
enough to date but I am good enough to be company to a ball game “so he doesn’t
have to go alone” because his 27 other women don’t want to go with him either. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nice,
dude, real nice. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #0070c0;">I guessed
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Full disclosure is a lovely thing.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Him: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #0070c0;">Never mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See ya Gina. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me:<span style="color: #0070c0;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or not. </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Admittedly that last comment was kind of a dick move on my
part, but I had had enough.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinASspk4pEhxgec1ZZnSxP4UmilVRdf9PRIbVzrBUvBiKhyphenhyphenmhxDA7lEDjY2XCmqGEXHfCdz5f80fNuYXOdNwbZeyKZvfcOhuOcpGlmTvjJi4CH5ZFE94cN7pVl2ms_dOUw89TfmkPFhg/s1600/go+fuck+yourself.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinASspk4pEhxgec1ZZnSxP4UmilVRdf9PRIbVzrBUvBiKhyphenhyphenmhxDA7lEDjY2XCmqGEXHfCdz5f80fNuYXOdNwbZeyKZvfcOhuOcpGlmTvjJi4CH5ZFE94cN7pVl2ms_dOUw89TfmkPFhg/s320/go+fuck+yourself.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway, problem solved. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-45430629543586897052012-08-25T11:05:00.000-04:002012-08-25T11:05:50.990-04:00The Quandary<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am in a quandary. This doesn’t happen very often as I am a
relatively decisive person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you
guys can help me out?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few weeks back, I met a guy while working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We seemed to hit it off pretty well during
the appointment and I thought there might be a connection there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is good looking, has a beautiful, clean
home and he has a dog that he treats like a king (I like that in a guy).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During the appointment, we talked about relatively
personal stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He informed me that he
had been married and his wife cheated on him two years ago and moved out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He kept the house and in his spare time had
added a sunroom, a pool house and a large covered patio – <em>with his own two
hands</em>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said he builds things to
relax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I like that in a guy too because
(1) he is obviously good with his hands and (2) I require a relatively large
amount of solitude and when I feel the need to be alone, I can say “You should
go build something. Like a vanity or an armoire. You know, for <strong>ME</strong>.”). </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrc42kmFrIMf5RUq-dzvxSIw6cPrQUUnluzVAKm5-zPYxSjeL-FagZEVGovE7NhxvOStEefoOxvea6pl_2-B8Z0IFJmWzacR6lvT9XX6MtuQ0QV0YXRxCOVOFxSOwZqQ8-ELvNokLwA/s1600/back-massage-the-perfect-guy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrc42kmFrIMf5RUq-dzvxSIw6cPrQUUnluzVAKm5-zPYxSjeL-FagZEVGovE7NhxvOStEefoOxvea6pl_2-B8Z0IFJmWzacR6lvT9XX6MtuQ0QV0YXRxCOVOFxSOwZqQ8-ELvNokLwA/s320/back-massage-the-perfect-guy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The pièce de résistance was when I walked into one of his
spare rooms and saw a massage table. I stopped, turned to him and asked, “Do you have your own massage parlor?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He responded with “No, my wife had back problems so I got certified in
<em>MASSAGE</em>.” Hmmmm. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">During the appointment he was relatively complimentary (at
one point he turned to me and said “You’re pretty smart.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes. Yes I am and you must be pretty smart
for seeing that).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Between the compliments
and telling me that his wife was gone, I assumed that he was interested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also found out we have mutual friends,
another bonus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The rules of my career are clear that there is to be no “impropriety,” perceived or otherwise, so I needed to complete my work for him prior to
pursuing anything on a personal level (See?!? I am NOT a hooker), but I was
pretty intrigued by this guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I went
home and thought of professional question to text him. I did and a texting conversation
ensued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> More Hmm</span>mm.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I completed my work in about a week and texted him to let
him know that I was done. Another rather long texting conversation ensued in
which he complimented my hair (which <strong>IS</strong> awesome, by the way).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Ok” I thought, “this guy MUST be interested.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me to contact him again after by
upcoming trip and so I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is where
things get….confusing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So he calls me and invites me to a professional baseball
game on a Sunday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oh, sorry, that’s my
church day.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hahahahaha.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By now
you all know that I don’t care for sports much but to prove it my ex-husband
and I went to a professional ballgame many years ago and I was so bored I made
him leave in the middle of the game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
couldn’t even drink my way into fun with that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The problem for me with baseball is the downtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The time spent between the plays is way too
long; just get up there and hit the fucking ball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You do not need to walk in a circle, hit the
ground with your bat, adjust you balls and spit for 5 minutes prior to settling
into your position to hit the fucking ball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why don’t you do that <em>before</em> you get up to bat so as not to waste my
time? <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway, I told him I wasn’t really into baseball and that I
would have to pass on the game. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Let me
just stop here and say that there are probably women out there that would have
gone to the game, if only to spend time with this guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those women don’t really like sports either, but
would pretend to in order to get with a guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Those women are stupid. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will
never pretend to be someone I’m not to get a guy to like me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if you two hit it off? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are now stuck going to ballgames together
or you would need to “come clean” and tell him the truth, at which point he
would feel duped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole thing is a bad
idea.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">O.K., back to our conversation: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>after some more discussion about sports he states
that he is pretty active in outdoorsy-type activities, kayaking, snowboarding
and the like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would definitely try the
kayaking (down a nice lazy creek, not that “white-water-hit-your-head-on-a-rock-and-die”
kind) but I don’t do winter sports.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HOWEVER
as a compromise, I AM willing to get dressed in the cute little ski-bunny outfit
and wait for you by the bar in the chalet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(See?? I can be flexible!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
then asks me what I do for fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s
see….screw, write a funny blog, screw, read, screw… No seriously, my mind
starts racing trying to think of something active that I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t think of one thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I certainly couldn’t answer with “I’m pretty
much a sedentary slug,” so I came up with dancing which I am trying to get back
into by learning country line dancing (mostly because no one wants to see a 40-something
woman hip hopping).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said he feels the
same way about line dancing as I do about baseball but that “the other two women I date
both do that”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait, what?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">NOW the conversation is starting to get good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked for further clarification of that
statement and he stated that when his wife cheated and left- <em><strong>last summer</strong></em>- his
friends set him up with different women, two of whom he currently dates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For some reason I was under the impression
that his divorce was two years ago (a good long time to get over THAT fucked-up
situation) but came to find out it was last summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a little close to my time frame of “one
year after a divorce” that I will date a guy, but I might be able to get past
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boning two chicks and wanting to
be thrown into the mix? Not so sure about that one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Herein lays my quandary:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t do competition well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s one of the reasons I don’t date married
men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do I know that he isn’t thinking
of one of the other ones while we are going at it? I mean, with three of us it would
have to get confusing after a while.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s not like I am looking for a serious
committed relationship. Or maybe I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I’ve stated before, I
have no intention of getting married again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am emotionally and financially secure (OK, financially anyway) and I’m
not looking for someone to “take care of me” or anything like that. Furthermore,
when things start getting really serious, I’ve been known to get scared and
run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So why should I have a problem with
someone dating two other chicks along with me? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe it’s a control issue? If I am the only
one, I have the control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there are 3
of us (this is starting to sound more and more like “Sister Wives”), and I have
an upcoming event that I want him to attend with me; do I need to schedule it 4
months in advance to know that I get that date? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not a great turn-taker. I want what I want
and I want it now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe it’s more of a time issue. He stated that
one of them is “quite young” (what the fuck does that mean?? Great. Now I have
to compete with a 25 year old??), and she lives south and comes up for entire weekends
to hang out. I think I’d like someone that has more time than once a month but
less than 5 times per week. (See?? I don’t know what the hell I want.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I do like his honesty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No punches pulled; just straight-out
lay-it-on-the-line honesty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Refreshing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He gives MASSAGES.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He builds shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Like with hammers and saws and wood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He is incredibly busy. Besides his full time job
and dating, he volunteers with many organizations: from music to teaching
winter sports to cleaning up highways for his
company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Volunteering is admirable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Picking up used condoms and heroine needles
from the side of a road is gross.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He gives <strong><em>MASSAGES</em></strong>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s almost a challenge to show him my bag of
tricks and see if he kicks the other two to the curb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he does, I win. But then what? I end up
coming up with some stupid excuse to break it off and he’s alone again? Maybe I won't this time? And w</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">hat if he doesn’t kick them to the curb? It
would be a massive blow to my ego.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
enjoy massive blows to my ego.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They piss
me off.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, I am over-thinking as usual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s what I do. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So
I’m turning the tables on you guys this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Usually it is I giving the advice (for lack of a better term).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This week it is me with the question: Should I
go on a date with this guy and see what happens or should I just move on (move
on to WHAT? I have no idea.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
If you haven't already, don't forget to "like" <a href="https://www.facebook.com/AnticsOfASerialDater" target="_blank">AnticsOfASerialDater</a> on Facebook for interactive daily fun!!Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-1413558226774383572012-08-11T10:08:00.001-04:002012-08-11T11:17:04.212-04:00Don't Sell Yourself Short<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two of my male friends (one of which has been a good friend
for many years and the other a more recent friend) are very open and honest
about their perceived “inadequacies”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
other words, they go around freely and openly telling the world they have small
weenies. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZDU8jl6cGAXWyEkIsn-RQ1109kiJeHMdkn-l0e7D0x_gERTW6MMyk-tJ8odpf6-C-IqI14zLyQLnocBGUZYpXEYkH0BjKFzGQ5j5HiPWD3OA25InKxS9HRYXCVJC1vcrdMbQar75bbA/s1600/cutest+little+thing.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZDU8jl6cGAXWyEkIsn-RQ1109kiJeHMdkn-l0e7D0x_gERTW6MMyk-tJ8odpf6-C-IqI14zLyQLnocBGUZYpXEYkH0BjKFzGQ5j5HiPWD3OA25InKxS9HRYXCVJC1vcrdMbQar75bbA/s320/cutest+little+thing.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am all for full disclosure and I absolutely abhor lying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyone who knows me well can attest to this
fact.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Further, it would be ridiculous to
tout a John-Holmes-size penis only to be discovered otherwise in the bedroom
when the time comes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, there are
some things you just can’t fake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BUT, don’t kill your game before it even
starts! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">For example, I was
out with a group of friends and (inevitably) the conversation turned to sex.
During that conversation, my male friend basically stated for all my girlfriends to hear, that he is completely
under-endowed. I just looked at him. Dude, you are your own cock-blocker!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, in many of my blogs I joke around about wanting a big
shlong (It's a girl thing; like men joking around about chicks with big boobs). But in reality
I have been with men of all sizes and have been just as satisfied with
both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of that being
said, the following is my opinion on the whole tiny Johnson subject: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In a nutshell, sex is a sales game. I don’t necessarily mean
“slimy used-car salesman” sales wherein you lie, cheat and steal your way into
bed with someone (although there are definitely those that take this approach);
but rather, a sales game in that you are selling yourself (Disclaimer: you are not
actually going to get paid at the end of it - unless you have made pre-fuck arrangements).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you are looking for a one-nighter, you are selling
yourself as a lover (“Baby, I can rock your world”). If you
are looking for a long-termer (Yes, that IS a word because I just used it in a
sentence!), you might take a different approach (“Baby, I can rock your world AND
make you a bangin’ omelet for breakfast in the morning”).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either way, it’s pretty much all the same: you
are selling yourself as a lover to get someone into bed with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s almost like a job interview.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You wouldn’t walk into an interview and in
the first 5 minutes state that you have a habit of being late every day (well,
maybe you would but then you’d be an idiot: an unemployed idiot). The same goes
with sex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I were hitting it off with
a guy to which I clearly had a connection, and he said, “I am terrible in bed
but wanna screw anyway?” NO. No, I don't. But thanks for asking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Guys have the advantage of…well….clothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is very difficult for a girl with an “A” cup
to walk around telling everyone that she is a “D” cup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s pretty damn obvious that she is full of shit. But guys, unless
you are wearing a speedo (and I highly recommend against that), no one knows of
your endowment - or lack thereof - until the time comes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So what does a guy do to sell himself in the bedroom without
lying about his humongous dick? My suggestion is to work your other abilities
into the flirty conversation as it becomes clearer that you will be ending the
evening with a “big bang”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, rather
than “Let’s go back to my place, but I must warn you I have a tiny little
pee-pee”, how about “Let’s go back to my place, but I must warn you that I LOVE
giving cunnilingus”. Or, “Let’s go back to my place; I have an awesome toy that
I am dying to use on you.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(OK, I really
feel the need to stop here for a moment and explain to you men that women typically
do not like USED toys. I may have said this before but it is important. Please have a nice selection of unused toys to choose
from. Yes, they can be expensive but do you want to get laid or not?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you
get a lot of game, might I suggest a “Dildo of the Month” club?)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you have confidence in your other bedroom abilities and
you know it, you can still walk with your head held high and get laid regardless
of the size of your organ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women love
confidence. But let me be clear: if you boast about your other talents, you’d
better have them because you can’t fake that either. Practice on some fruit or
something; do a Google search on “how to perform cunnilingus”. (There is much
to choose from but be warned: you will also get many porn sites doing that
particular search and unless you remember what you are looking for, you will become
distracted and have learned nothing sitting there with your dick in your hand).
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can also search “how to use a dildo
on a chick”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the information age,
People! Stupidity is not a defense (and will not get you laid).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The point is, there are ways to overcome short-comings and
disclosing them to an entire room of potential partners is not one of them.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would love to hear from my readers on this subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a girl, is it important that the guy be
well-endowed? As a guy, if you are less-than-average in the penis department
have you figured out a way to compensate for that? Did it work? I would love to hear anything else that anyone
has to add about on this subject!</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you enjoy my blog, join me on Facebook for more daily fun!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/AnticsOfASerialDater" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/AnticsOfASerialDater</a></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-77898214567642822942012-07-31T19:27:00.000-04:002012-08-01T12:49:30.689-04:00Swingers<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I’m out having a couple of drinks with some friends one
night to celebrate another friend’s return to our home state and we are
laughing and dancing and having a grand old time when another “friend” (whom I
shall call Dicky) decides to step into the “bitter barn” and starts bitching
about his soon to be ex-wife. I (being
of sound mind and loose tongue) immediately blurt out, “doesn’t your chosen
lifestyle lend itself to your wife leaving you?” SCREEEEECH. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It kinda felt like one of those movies where they say
something really loud and inappropriate right when the music stops and the entire
bar turns and looks. Yeah. Like that. It seemed like even the people dry-humping
in the corner stopped groping each other to stare at me in awe that I had
actually kicked the guy when he was down.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked around, “WHAT???”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me explain: Dicky
is a swinger. I didn’t know this when
Dicky friend requested me on Facebook. I
accepted Dicky’s friend request because we had graduated high school together
and had many mutual friends. I didn’t
remember Dicky in high school but we had a very large graduating class and I
was pretty much stoned for most of my high school career so it didn’t surprise
me that I didn’t remember him. It took
me about a month to figure out what Dicky was up to (sometimes I am not too
swift on the intake).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first telling piece of information was all of the pictures
Dicky kept posting of himself with beautiful (but trashy) looking blonds. Now Dicky is not an Adonis. He is short and stout
(Yes, like the little teapot) and a little pudgy and I could probably put him
in my pocket if I didn’t wear my pants so tight. So the fact that Dicky had been married for
20+ years and kept posting pictures of himself (and occasionally his wife),
with blond bimbos was a little confusing at first. The second piece to the
puzzle was that Dicky kept inviting me to numerous parties that he would have
and he would have them A LOT. Like more
than once a week there were pictures of him at various skanky-looking soirées
to which I had been invited (but thankfully did not attend). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last piece of the puzzle (and when the SWINGER marquee finally
hit me upside my head) was when I began receiving friend requests from couples
in far-off places (“Bob/Liz Smith from Texas want to be your friend.” How many couples do you know that SHARE a
Facebook page??) After I denied the
third couple’s request, l started wondering what the hell was going on and
quickly realized that the only thing I had in common with these people was
Dicky. HELLO SWINGERS!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now (obviously) I am no one to judge how people lead their
sexual lives and I have been in a ménage or two in my time but it seems to me
if you are in a long-term committed relationship and you are encouraging your
spouse to fuck other people, you are playing with fire. It’s a numbers game, idiot. At
some point in 20+ years, if your spouse is screwing numerous people, he or she
is going to find someone that looks better than you, fucks better than you and
reads the funnies on a Sunday morning better than you. It’s pretty much inevitable. It is the extremely rare case that whatever “special
connection” you have with your spouse is the only “special connection” your
spouse is going to have in a lifetime, especially when you throw sex into the
mix. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have met guys that acted like they were the shit because
they were “Oh-so-open-minded” to let their wives boink someone else and I come
to find out it was purely out of selfish reasons. They themselves were bored or horny or
whatever and under the ruse of being open-minded, simply wanted permission to
screw someone else too. So while he was
busy patting himself on the back for letting his wife screw that guy over
there, his other hand was firmly planted in some other chick’s Hooha. Nice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even if it isn’t for selfish reasons, and he isn’t looking
to fool around with another girl (or guy), which I highly doubt, it’s probably
not going to end well. I speak from
experience:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About 25 years ago, I was dating a guy in Florida that
wanted to take me on a vacation to his friend’s house in the Keys. The entire week prior to the vacation he kept
telling me how good looking his friend was and how awesome his friend was and
that if I wanted to have coitus with his friend he wouldn’t mind. At first I thought this was some kind of a faithfulness
test, so I was adamant that I wasn’t interested. He kept insisting that he would be fine with
it and he and his friend and he were very close and “shared everything” (like a
stick of deodorant??). I told him I
understood his point but that I really wasn’t interested because I loved him. The whole ride down he kept up his song and
dance that he would be O.K. with it, should I change my mind. We pull into the driveway and his shirtless
friend comes out to greet us. Holy.
Shit. Mind changed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not really sure what my boyfriend had in mind, or why he
was so insistent (looking back I think maybe he either wanted to see what his
friend was packing or make his friend jealous of what he had every day), but
I’m pretty sure things didn’t transpire the way they were supposed to in his
mind. Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t been clear to set the boundaries or the
scenario or the scene so that I knew what was OK and what wasn’t and a few
nights into our short vacation, he and I got into an argument. He was being a dick and ignoring me while I
was trying to speak to him about whatever stupid disagreement we were having
and so I got the shits of trying to talk to him and went to see what his friend
was doing in his bedroom. Needless to
say, boyfriend got his wish. Or not. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At some point my boyfriend actually came looking for me, saw
what was going on, and turned around and left (personally, I took that as a “carry
on”). I am guessing by his reaction
afterward that things didn’t go the way he thought they would because (wait for
it….) he was PISSED. Yep. We all could have seen that coming. Needless
to say, our relationship was never the same and he treated me as if I had
cheated on him (and I treated him like the idiot that he was). Moral: Be careful what you wish for, People.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How about this idea: If you want to screw other people, STAY
SINGLE. Trust me, it works.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would like to hear other’s opinion on this subject. Are you married and have you ever done or
considered swinging? Do you know anyone that does and has it worked for them in
the long-term? As a single person would
you consider getting involved with a married couple?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For more daily fun and interaction, join the “Antics of a
Serial Dater” Facebook page.<o:p></o:p></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-31730353107910400102012-07-26T19:15:00.002-04:002012-07-26T19:26:33.387-04:00A Quickie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvKGuwyLnCifTRYYfOPaMES8-6JWJPO_X5mve7JIOGVd9dOdMSRU9wV3048amSsFR-UxIlLGw39lIdhZ1GxfElcthzJQ6p88MAQz5TlhaQ9EfTXvHH1cyRZ1mt-ozCVjzTEKFzaUPZ0A/s1600/girl+vagina+fits.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvKGuwyLnCifTRYYfOPaMES8-6JWJPO_X5mve7JIOGVd9dOdMSRU9wV3048amSsFR-UxIlLGw39lIdhZ1GxfElcthzJQ6p88MAQz5TlhaQ9EfTXvHH1cyRZ1mt-ozCVjzTEKFzaUPZ0A/s320/girl+vagina+fits.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of my girlfriends and I were having a conversation via
Heytell today. (If you don’t have Heytell you should totally get it! It makes
your cellphone into a walkie talkie!) The conversation pertained to an art
gallery opening that we are going to this weekend (because I am all fucking
cultured and shit).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the conversation
went like this:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"><span style="color: black;">Me:</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there a cover charge?</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Because while I believe in supporting the
arts, I need to make sure I have drinking money.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her: <span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;">Nope!
And they will have food and wine!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;">My favorite! I LOVE food and wine!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her: <span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;">Ohhh<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and there will be hot chicks too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe we can find [our guy friend] a
girlfriend!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me:<span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"> Oh my
God, that would be awesome!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What about
guys? Will there be guys there?</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Because
while I want my friends to be happy, let’s talk about what’s important here:
ME)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her:<span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There should definitely be guys there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you could fulfill your Cougar dream.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me:<span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Funny you should mention that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked up a Cougar website the other day
just to see if there were any and there were. But, they seemed to be more like
gigolo type of things.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her: <span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;">OH
MY GOD!! PLEASE sign up for the Cougar dating website, if only for your blog! I
mean, take one for the team, Gina!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do it for your art!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me:<span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"> I
will take MORE than ONE for the team, girlfriend! MORE. THAN. ONE.</span></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her:<span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whore.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me:<span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"> Yes
and a very happy one at that…..Hey, don’t judge me. You read Perez Hilton and I
fuck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a choice. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Her:<span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hahahaha! You need a T-shirt that says that!!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">Me: <span style="color: #3d85c6;">I'm not sure I could get away with that.</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-27171979990145358472012-07-21T23:10:00.001-04:002012-08-03T10:22:54.620-04:00Sheath Thy Sword, Kind Sir<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My daughter finally graduated from high school. When I say “finally”
I don’t mean that it took forever because it seems like she should be
graduating from kindergarten; but, “finally” because we got to take our vacation
that I have been planning for more than a year. Her graduation present was a Mediterranean
cruise. Yes, my daughter is spoiled. But enough about her, let’s talk about me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As the vacation drew closer I began to imagine the
possibility of hooking up with a hot and spicy Italian, a Greek God or an exotic
Turkish dude. Hell, I’d even screw a
French guy as long as he stopped whining long enough to get it on. I’m on vacation, why be picky?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few weeks before we left, I look at my daughter and said, “Would
it be inappropriate to say if there is a sock on the cabin door, don’t come in?” She just looked at me and calmly said, “YES.” Good
to know. I won’t say that then. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few days later, as if reading my mind, one of
my sisters calls me and says “Did you pack condoms? What if a hot Italian guy
wants to take you back to his room?”
Good thought. I should go
shopping.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Herein lies the issue and the topic of today’s blog: Condoms <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcmB18T8tiV4ApatU50A_eVXc5LLi4rfRVZHJMuIaPPyACWOB9xr_W1m0Buw2QX2BAfON1A3eMw-six0yg97DG8AD4j-_mIMVKyIwu5ts5yii72ELFeyBwxrVgH3IfRvP9-0K3aIwiHw/s1600/to+the+lady+with.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcmB18T8tiV4ApatU50A_eVXc5LLi4rfRVZHJMuIaPPyACWOB9xr_W1m0Buw2QX2BAfON1A3eMw-six0yg97DG8AD4j-_mIMVKyIwu5ts5yii72ELFeyBwxrVgH3IfRvP9-0K3aIwiHw/s320/to+the+lady+with.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, I have condoms lying around but I thought since I am
purchasing new clothes and new shoes for this big trip, new condoms would be
nice too. So I went to the drug
store. Wow. The price of condoms has gone up
substantially since the last case I purchased.
Is there a latex shortage and no one told me? What the hell? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyway, I begin looking for a variety pack. Sure, they have variety packs. Ribbed, non-ribbed, lubricated, colored ones
(in case you like the feeling of fucking an alien), flavored, non-flavored - you
get the idea. But, that’s not what I was
looking for. I am looking for the SIZE
variety pack. How the hell do I know what size shlong the next lucky guy is
gonna be packing? But such a variety pack appeared not to exist. Or if they do exist, they were
not with the 75 other boxes of condoms at the drug store. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Seriously, I spent 15 minutes in the condom aisle trying to
decide what I should do. Should I take
out a second mortgage and stock up on all the sizes or should I get “regular”
and hope that would suffice? (By the way, what smarty came up with calling the condom
for the average-penis-size guy “regular”? Why don’t you just call it size “good enough”
or “it will have to do”? ) I did at least come to the decision that I could
eliminate the small size because I don’t want to spend the money for that. I begin to imagine THAT conversation…<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Me: What size condom do we need, I have them all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Him:
Ummm…I’ll take the extra small.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Me:
Alrighty then. Listen, you go ahead and get started; I forgot something in my car….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So there I stand, in the condom isle, laughing like an idiot
(nothing new) and trying to make a decision and my mind begins to wander to a
very odd scenario in which I have the condoms lined up on a shelf in my bedroom by size. Soon to be lucky new guy walk in. “Pick a size,” I say. He walks over to the shelf and if he chooses
the small, a trap door in the floor opens and he’s gone. On the other hand, should he walk over to
the extra-large: a light shines upon him, the clouds part and angels begin to
sing…. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">At that point I was so far off track I thought it
best to leave the store and just look it up on the internet. If they exist I am sure I can get them
overnighted before my vacation. The good
news is: the size variety pack does exist.
Be warned however that some of the companies seem a little sketchy so do
your due diligence prior to purchasing.
No one wants a half-assed condom (so to speak). <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">While searching for the size variety pack I found they make a ton of
the flavored condoms.
Personally, I have never sucked on a condom but I ran across a thread
that I must share with you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The thread begins with a girl asking which brand was the
best brand of flavored condoms and their favorite flavor. Below are some of my favorite answers (copied
verbatim):<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="color: #4f81bd;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know I will Never put a "flavored"
condom in my mouth ever again! <span style="color: #4f81bd;">(I like a girl that has boundaries
and sticks to them! Good for you!)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I work at PP and we have a ton of them, and they
are disgusting. I've tried all the
flavors. <br />
Banana= worst<br />
Mint= nasty, but acceptable<br />
Strawberry=ew<br />
Chocolate=double ew<br />
Vanilla=ew<br />
berry=ew </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #4f81bd;">(Clearly dedicated to her work.
This girl deserves a “raise”- if you know what I mean.)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don't use flavored condoms....but i bought
some while I was in NYC at Condomania, for friends. I ended up not giving them
out, but using them on my own vibes, for easy clean up. <span style="color: #4f81bd;">(Dear Lazy, there is this thing, it’s called
SOAP and it should be used on your “vibes” regardless of whether you sheath
them or not. That thing is probably so
filthy its sauntering down the street.)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don't like the taste of poop. Maybe artificial
banana flavored poop would taste good? </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #4f81bd;">(Oh Honey, you have it backward.
You lubricate the penis BEFORE it goes in your ass, not the other way
around.)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">i've sucked the trustex chocolate flavored ones
and they were not half bad. the lifestyles "kiss of mint" is really
popular with the cocksuckers i know. they are also good to have around for
moments when you don't want a lubricated condom. dual purpose<span style="color: #4f81bd;"> (Hahaha! Really popular with the
cocksuckers! Not only do I love this
girl, I want to be her friend!)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would love to hear from my readers on this one. Do you (or your partner) use flavored condoms?
Do you have a favorite flavor? Any other good condom talk you have for me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-44502103792652582322012-07-10T08:53:00.000-04:002012-07-10T08:53:33.043-04:00Creepy Quiet<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOczXDd77HuAxsnE_rZ_vbCs1i9ov8eXP3hZpU5F1Xxc_50j10upUSZ7Wi4oCWaPq5bOL11s6DE9LwoF1fEBH6ysPNYunihHLQrAzU-nEDXcHNZCg96RPfWTRzzPy5uEJKo0WbKsiadQ/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOczXDd77HuAxsnE_rZ_vbCs1i9ov8eXP3hZpU5F1Xxc_50j10upUSZ7Wi4oCWaPq5bOL11s6DE9LwoF1fEBH6ysPNYunihHLQrAzU-nEDXcHNZCg96RPfWTRzzPy5uEJKo0WbKsiadQ/s1600/images.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So have you ever been sitting around with a friend on a
weekend night and you two are like bored outta your minds cause there is
nothing on TV and your board games are all the way downstairs in your basement
which seems really far? You don’t want to go out driving because you are broke
or you have had a few drinks (or you are broke because you bought a few drinks),
and you are like sitting around looking at each other all bored and shit and to
kill the boredom you decide to have sex?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>NO?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Huh. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well I found myself in this situation awhile ago and as it
turns out my friend - who ordinarily can’t seem to shut the fuck up - turned
out to be so quiet it was fucking creepy. (Which I have now dubbed a new sexual
affliction called “Creepy Quiet.”)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hey, I’m not looking for a screamer to blow my house
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve actually had that before and it
was very hard to concentrate on the matter at hand with all of the noise going
on. I was also quite worried that my neighbors were going to break my door down
to rescue the poor fucker being murdered in my bed (another blog, another
time). But in this particular case, mum was the word (at least it would have
been had he said anything). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s always nice to get a little positive feedback, isn’t
it? I mean whether a person is working at a job, helping the homeless or having
a little spontaneous sex, it’s nice to hear the occasional “atta girl”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would accept an appreciative moan or grunt,
a happily garbled word; even a loud pant would be acceptable. SOMETHING just to
let me know he is still in the game (and wouldn’t rather be playing Scrabble).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Eventually, one really begins to wonder if he is thinking of
his grocery list or what the next microbrew is going to be at his favorite bar while
he is screwing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean seriously, give a
woman a clue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you enjoying it? Does
it suck? Are you enjoying the suck?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Would you rather go back to watching infomercials? Because I am ok with
that as long as I know that’s the deal. The occasional “that feels
good” might be in order in this situation or even a little directional advice
(in the timeless words of David Lee Roth, “a little more to the right.”). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the love of God give me SOMETHING!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know! How about a compliment? A compliment might be
nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean after all, I was too lazy
to walk down the steps to get a fucking board game but I did actually get off
the couch and take my clothes off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
now I am even exercising with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
should have gotten me something.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I guess talking dirty is out of the question; not to
mention role playing. How does one role play with a silent person? He could
play the quiet pilot, but eventually would be required to say something when,
as the slutty stewardess, I presented him with the question of, “Coffee, tea or
me?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He could always play a mime. He
could pretend to be a mime and I could pretend to be the dirty girl that was
trying to get him to break his “Code of Mime-Silence”; a mime-fucker, if you
will. But I imagine even that would get old eventually as I would never win the
game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">After it was over and I had blurted out, “Wow! You are really
creepy quiet!” I suggested getting him a T-shirt (as a public service message) that
read “I am Creepy Quiet”. The shirt was simply so that other girls in the
future would know in advance and not take it personally. There I go again being
all thoughtful to my fellow human beings! He didn’t go for it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The perfect example, and what reminded me of this situation,
was the other night when I was watching the HBO show “Girls”. In this particular
episode the main character, Hannah, was having the most awkward sex I have ever
seen with a guy she had just met.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was
more awkward than new sex ever should be but that is part of why the show is so
funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, during the awkward sex,
the new guy blurts out, “<em>What are you doing? Please don’t put your finger in my
asshole</em>!” to which Hannah responded with “<em>You weren’t telling me what it was
that you wanted at all so I was just trying to guess what you wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are allowed to just tell me what it is
that you want</em>.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And that, my quiet friends out there, is your lesson of the
day: Creepy Quiet can get you a finger up your asshole. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-37287353871644138172012-07-04T09:56:00.002-04:002012-07-04T09:56:54.584-04:00A Gay Crossdresser With the Wrong Parts<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My world was turned upside down today as I found out that
apparently: I am not a girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know!! I
am as surprised as the rest of you!</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here I was happily living my life thinking I have the world
by the balls in an “I-am-woman-and-I-got-what-they-want” power-kick and I was
floored to discover that I must be a gay crossdresser with the wrong
parts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This all came to a head (which I
am still looking for, by the way) when I was checking out the free dating site
and scrolled down to the bottom of the page to see the following:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<strong><span style="color: #002060; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">Women’s Top Ten Favorite Ways to Have Someone Flirt with Them<o:p></o:p></span></strong></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: blue;">1.
Talk about things she likes or dislikes, making comments and showing interest</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 13.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, showing interest is
great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recommend it to every human being trying to have any kind of a relationship with any other human being (or
a pet for that matter).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless you are
the Unabomber, you should probably know this. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #313131;"><span style="color: blue;">2. Display concern for her, her feelings and
well-being</span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 13.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Hi! My name is Joe. I hope
you don’t have cancer or some other horrible illness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you aren’t manically depressed and
sitting at home deciding whether you should reply to my email or kill
yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Write back if you decide on
the first one, ok?”<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #313131;"><span style="color: blue;">3.
Share jokes or amusing anecdotes with her</span> </span></span></span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p><span style="color: #313131;"> </span></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 13.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Hi! My name is Tony. So, an old
lady and a goat walk into a bar…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #313131;"><span style="color: blue;">4. Compliment her on her screen name,
attitude, personality and appearance</span> </span></span></span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p><span style="color: #313131;"> </span></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One must tread lightly about this
one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Too many compliments early on makes
one appear to be a bull-shitter, or desperate, or a desperate bull-shitter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example: my current screen name has my
zodiac sign in it. I have been contacted by guys that were very (and I mean
<u>overly</u>) excited about my particular zodiac sign.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So whether he is really hippy-dippy and wants
to read my palm or he is just trying to get me excited that he is excited; either
way, I don’t want him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the converse
side, just so you guys know, “I think you massive boobs are awesome” is NOT a
compliment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #313131;"><span style="color: blue;">5. Send her special/cute email messages</span> </span></span></span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p><span style="color: #313131;"> </span></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The problems with this one are
vast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, one man’s “cute” is another
woman’s nightmare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, men don’t
typically know or do “cute”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It usually
turns into creepy really fucking fast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Third, what is a cute email message exactly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Hi, Snookiebear! Just wanted you to know I was
thinking about you! My name is Bob.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just so you know, “cute” messages from a
virtual stranger make most women want to back away slowly from the computer and hide in a closet. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the other
hand, if you have been emailing back and forth with a particular woman on the
dating site for awhile, and you are at the point where you are sending “cute” messages
through the site and not on her cellphone; you should really move on because
she’s either not interested or married.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p><span style="color: blue;"> </span></o:p></span></span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #313131;"><span style="color: blue;">6. Makes an effort to contact her in some
form most every day</span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Contacting someone you barely know
on a daily basis is not flirting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
stalking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get it right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: blue;">7. Chats with her when you are online at the
same time</span></span></span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p><span style="color: #313131;"> </span></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 22.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The problem with chatting is that you either
chat with the entire world or you don’t chat at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
There is no in-between. </span>You have to hide yourself from chatting with anyone or you get 35
invitations to chat at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nine
times out of ten, that is the last thing I have time for when I jump online to
check my emails.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 22.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>I even had to hide
myself on Facebook for God’s sake, and I KNOW those people! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prior to hiding myself on Facebook it never failed that when I was
about to walk out the door I would jump online for a second to check my notifications (for the 47th time today) and 12 people wanted to
chat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then felt obligated to
acknowledge each one and tell them that I don’t have time to chat and by the
time I was finished with that I had already missed 2 cheap drinks at happy hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No thanks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #313131;"><span style="color: blue;">8. Discusses seriously the traits she desires
in a partner</span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 22.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This one I agree with as it works
for women and men alike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just haven’t
figured out a nice way to say, “How big is your dick?” early on in the
conversation. I am working on that one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: blue;">9. Show her your daring or mischievous side</span></span></span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p><span style="color: #313131;"> </span></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 22.5pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="color: #313131;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Again, this one is perception. What is
a guy supposed to do to show his daring or mischievous side without looking
like one of the buffoons from “Jackass”??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You can’t do sarcasm in writing without a sarcasm font (and when the
HELL is someone going to come up with that?) so that isn’t going work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should he suggest a romantic bank robbing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t understand.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text1"><span style="mso-ansi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p><span style="color: #313131; font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></span><span class="text1"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: blue;">10. Emails her greeting cards, gifts,
pictures songs or fun attachments</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 22.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We have already discussed this in
a previous blog: </span><a href="http://anticsofaserialdater.blogspot.com/2011/12/living-in-virtual-world.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://anticsofaserialdater.blogspot.com/2011/12/living-in-virtual-world.html</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think virtual gifts are virtually
stupid. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 22.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would like to note here that the last time I checked (in a “Fried Green Tomatoes” moment) I was female. However, after reading the above list of what I, as a female, am supposed to like and the fact that I physically flinched at each and every
one of those “flirting ideas,” I am beginning to wonder…<o:p></o:p></span></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-58992464343025061892012-05-15T10:08:00.001-04:002012-08-01T10:39:31.292-04:00Porn is in the Eye of the Beholder<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I (along with apparently <u>most</u> red-blooded American women)
recently finished the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy by E.L. James. Personally, I
loved them. Not because they are so well written that Ms. James is going to win any literary awards (although she could buy any award she wants); but because the subject of
the books is sex with a little mystery pulling up the rear (heh heh heh). I am not afraid to admit it: I love a good
smutty book. The only problem with reading smut is the quantity in which I read
it. It must be taken in small doses in
order to not walk around like I am in heat.
The other day, after a weekend of reading a particularly dirty book, I found
myself practically panting at the elderly postman. Clearly it was time to step away from the
kindle. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, I was in the nail salon last week and we were
discussing the “Fifty Shades” books. The
majority of the ladies had read and enjoyed them but when the receptionist was
asked if she had read them yet her response was, “I don’t read porn”. I thought it a shame to be so closed minded about
something so open to interpretation (she must be a lot of fun in bed) but more
so, it made me think about the definition of porn.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never really thought of the written word as porn. I know the media has labeled this trilogy
“mommy porn”, but they have to have a teaser title for everything: “The Storm of the Century” (which apparently
happens every year) and my recent favorite: “Snowmageddon”. My friends and I have
labeled a series of vampire smut books that we were reading as “vampire porn”
but it was more a nickname as there are many books in the series. I just always pictured porn as..…well..…pictures.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being the open-minded sort (and having been around awhile) I
am familiar with porn. I have seen it in
many different forms: videos, magazines, strip clubs, fetish, gay, straight,
etc. While some of it did nothing for me and I couldn’t necessarily understand
the appeal; who am I to judge what happens between two consenting (human) adults?
Isn’t there a saying that goes “All’s fair in love and sex”? If there isn’t,
there should be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It would seriously be
a good mantra for most of the men out there that act like you are killing
puppies if you even mention “male on male” anything (actually I think they
would be more comfortable with the puppy-killing topic) but those same men get turned on by
anything lesbian. (Hello, Double
Standard! How are you?) Just because YOU wouldn’t do it doesn’t make it wrong
or disgusting or vomit-worthy (methinks thou doth protest too much). Personally, I find a man that is secure
enough in himself and his own sexuality to understand that sex is sex and it’s
all good whether it’s something he would do or not, to be sexy as hell.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But back to the question at hand: what is porn? Is it
anything that turns someone on? If that’s the case, I have a whole closet full
of porn in many shapes and sizes to the shoe-fetish guy, not to mention a
drawer full of porn to the lingerie lover.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does porn have to be graphic pictures of people getting it
on or can it be a written story of people screwing? What about people screwing
missionary style? Perhaps it’s the word choice that makes it pornographic? Is “the
tip of his heat throbbed as he entered her slick, wet core” considered porn as
opposed to “they made love”? (Wow. I nearly fell asleep just writing that last quote.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Either way, I highly recommend the reading of smut to any
woman that wants to spice up her sex life (or get one). It is a well-known fact that
men are visual creatures when it comes to sexuality and women are
thinkers. Accordingly, what’s the harm
of visualizing your partner as the hot pirate dude from your latest dirty novel
for a minute or two? Whatever it takes to get the job done if your sex life has
gotten mundane, in my humble opinion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will say that I have not seen a penis- in person or in
porn- as glorious as the one in my mind’s eye while reading it's description in
a good smut book. That could be a
problem.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thoughts on your definition of porn? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: red;">SPOILER ALERT</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have NOT read the Shades of Grey trilogy but plan to:
<b>Stop Here.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Below are some quick comments
on the books themselves and there might be a spoiler or two:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was reading some reviews of this trilogy and
ran across one from a man that described himself as “a retired gynecologist”.
Apparently, with nothing but time on his hands, he chose to read some “Chick Lit”
and in his review went into somewhat of a long-winded diatribe about how unrealistic
Anastasia Steele’s first sexual experience was with Christian Grey. NO SHIT. I don’t know about you, but my first
time was NOTHING like Anastasia Steele’s first time. In fact, I am not aware of any female on this
planet that had multiple orgasms while having her cherry popped for the first
time. That’s why they call it FICTION. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand, what heterosexual female on this planet wouldn’t
want to feel an actual physical spark with a sexy, rich guy upon your first
meeting - and then have it be reciprocated?!? (“ Oh NO, hotter-than-hell rich guy
with more money than God, I couldn’t possibly take a brand new car as a
graduation present.” Right.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What female wouldn’t melt for a guy that said with
conviction (and not threat) “YOU are MINE”?? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These books are the shit that dreams are made of!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-73741075745445494502012-05-04T10:46:00.001-04:002012-05-04T10:46:50.203-04:00He Was So Hungry He Could Eat A Horse<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While perusing Facebook the other day, I ran across a
headline from my local newspaper that I refer to as a train wreck: incredibly
disturbing but you just can’t look away (a lot like the Anna Nicole Smith show
when it was on). The headline read as follows:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">“Man accused of breaking into Perry County barn,
performing sex act on horse”</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Personally, I draw the
line at bestiality (see! I do have boundaries!). But disgusted and dismayed nonetheless, I
clicked on the article to see what kind of sick fuck wanted to screw a
horse. Obviously sick fucks (aka
Zoophiles) aren’t new. The history of bestiality
is long and sorted from the cave drawings depicting bestiality (circa) 8000 BC to
the “sheep shaggers” in Ireland today. So while very little shocks me anymore
when it comes to the sexual depravity of man, (or woman- don’t get your boxers
in a bunch) this one actually did. The
article reads as follows: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="line-height: 115%;">“State Police say a man broke into a barn early today and performed
oral sex on a female horse.”</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">No. Seriously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">Now, I do
not profess to know all that much about horses other than one should feed them
apples or sugar with a flat hand in order to not get one’s fingers broken when
the horse chomps down; therefore, I would not know for a fact where the female horse’s
genitalia actually is other than really, really close to its asshole (danger zone! danger zone!). But let’s say for
sake of argument this guy is more knowledgeable of the anatomy of a horse than
I. The bigger question here is: sexually
speaking, what would this do for the guy?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I mean, I understand the enjoyment and
feeling of power one gets for giving pleasure to another, but not really in this
particular case. How does he know he is doing it right, much
less that she even feels it? After all, the phrase “hung like a horse” is a phrase for a reason. Maybe the guy felt that he needed practice in fellatio and no one else was </span><span style="line-height: 18px;">available</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">? On the converse side, t</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">his idiot
is brave, I’ll give him that.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">If the
horse were to decide she did not enjoy it, I would imagine the kicking that he would
receive would get him over his fetish real quick.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">So my friend and I were discussing this "incident" this morning over coffee and she tells me I
didn’t read far enough. She insisted that
I read some of the comments made by the readers in response to this article. I
have to admit, they did not disappoint. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">The following are some of the better comments:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"> <b>“Was this witnessed or did he confess? either way, it is downright
disgusting. Get a room!”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">To which
some smartass responds:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"> <b>“not many rooms you can get that allows a horse...”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">This one is my personal
favorite:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"> <b>“Neigh means neigh.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">Another:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b> </b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b>“Channel
21 posted this story with the last line, "The name of the horse is being
withheld." </b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: -.5in;">
<b>That </b><b style="text-indent: -0.5in;">sound you hear is the earth slowly spinning into
the sun.”</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">This person had
a good question: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"> “<b>Was it an on-going relationship or just a one-time fling?”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">And lastly:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"> <b>“The horse was underage. More charges to come….”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 18px;">You just can't make this shit up.</span></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-64530430766083682932012-04-20T13:11:00.001-04:002012-04-20T14:49:08.217-04:00Benny Hana<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every year when I was young and my birthday would roll
around I would ask my mother to take me to Benihana’s Japanese Restaurant. I friggin loved that place. I loved every single course it offered, the
soup that looks like dishwater, the salad with the ginger dressing and the main
meal -even the vegetables! I loved that there was entertainment while I waited
for my dinner, that I could get a Shirley Temple with an umbrella in it, and my
favorite thing was when they sang “Happy Birthday” to me in their native
tongue. The whole thing was awesome.
Even as I am older, every year as my birthday rolls around, I think fondly of
my younger years that I spent celebrating my birthday with knives whipping
around my head and a whole bunch of strangers sitting at my table and
inevitably, my thoughts go to a chef that I picked up at the restaurant in my
later years. As I do not recall him name,
I will call him “Benny”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was around 20 or 21 years old and I came home from south
Florida for a visit. It must have been
around my birthday- or perhaps it wasn’t- but in any event; my mother wanted to
take me out to dinner and as I could never afford such a meal living on my own,
I chose Benihana.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the chef walked to the table, I was curious. He wasn’t one of the old men that barely
spoke a lick of English that typically cooked my meal. He was young! And cute!
He seemed rather tall (or maybe it was the chef’s hat) and understood me when I
spoke (bonus!) and I will admit that if I need to flirt with the Hibachi Chef
in order to get an extra shrimp or two, that’s what I’m gonna do. So by the end
of the night, as I finished my extra food, we exchanged phone numbers and made
a date. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t recall a whole lot after that, whether we hung out a
couple of times or not (it couldn’t have been an awful lot as I was on a
timeframe, having to get back to Florida and all that), but I do remember the
end result. We ended up in the sack. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was literally the ONLY time that I had no idea where we
were at in the process. Was it in? Was
it out? Was he done yet? No fucking clue. Literally. That poor guy was hung
like a mouse. Here I was all proud of
myself for my first “United Colors of Benetton” experience and lo and behold it
was completely anti-climactic. Poor Benny; he had no idea whatsoever that he hadn't rocked my world that there was no way in hell that I was going to waste my time with *that* again. He called and called my
mother’s house trying to get another date with me prior to my leaving but I was really very busy visiting with my friends and family...or filing my nails...or watching paint dry....you get the idea. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the time, I was young and still pretty naive when it came to men and I
thought maybe it was a nationality thing.
I kept thinking to myself that Japanese women are pretty tiny so maybe they
are getting more out of it than I did. I mean, clearly it must work for them as there didn't seem to be a reproduction issues in Japan- it's not like they were on the endangered animal list. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That being said, while it was not my last Benetton experience, I was never presented with the opportunity to bed another Japanese man; which still left me quite
curious. So of course, I Googled it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And this is what I found:<br />
<br />
Click on the link: <a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060905155645AA5P7ic" target="_blank">Fascinating!!</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Any thoughts?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-64992069721545286122012-04-12T22:34:00.002-04:002012-04-13T12:59:04.253-04:00Cowboys and Indians<div class="MsoNormal">Have you ever felt that the universe is trying to send you a message? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Lately it seems that the universe is trying to tell me to date a cowboy. Cowboys are now trendy. You now hear country music on pop stations, flannel is apparently the new black, and worst of all; last week, my favorite dance club went county. While I am not averse to dating a cowboy; it is a rather new concept for me. Furthermore, I don’t eat dead mammals; that seems like it could be an issue.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Looking back at the westerns that I have watched over the years (admittedly, not many), whether the antagonist or the protagonist when it came to the stereotypical “cowboys vs. Indians” storyline, I would typically root for the Native American. Even when the depiction of the Indians was of cruel savages I assumed they had good reason to be - having gotten the wrong end of the shaft- I overlooked their savagery and rooted for the cowboy’s demise (mostly because the Indians were half naked, hairless and hot, but I digress). Granted, I am a big “rooter for the underdog”. I mean how fair is it that a cowboy simply sauntered into Oleson’s Mercantile (Little House in the Prairie throwback! Holla!), purchased his premanufactured gun and bullets and was hereby armed? How lazy! On the other hand, the Native American spent hours making their weapons (while shirtless, bronzed, and glistening in the sun) from the unused part of the animal they killed for food! I LOVE a man that recycles. Furthermore, cowboys always looked filthy. They were dirty and dusty, bearded from their long days in the woods or on the trail or wherever, and they needed a bath. Native Americans looked quite clean with their hairless faces and chests and their shiny long black hair, freshly bathed from the local river… (Excuse me for a second, will you?).<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Lately, however, due to the lack of Native American’s in Pennsylvania, I have been forced to see cowboys in somewhat of a new light. As it is now “in” to be country, (and I am nothing if not trendy) is it as if the universe is cramming cowboys down my throat (heh, heh, heh). <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It all started when my daughter turned country. One day it was Lil Wayne and black eyeliner and shortly thereafter it was camouflage and Miranda Lambert. My next stop in “countryville” was the University of Oklahoma. Oklahoma seems to have an abundance of cowboys and while I looked high and low I did not see an Indian in the bunch (at least none that was readily apparent in fringed leather pants, hair feathers, and little else). On a side note, although it has always been one of my fantasies, I have never had the opportunity to bed a Native American. I imagine, in my mind, that it will be fucking phenomenal in a very organic kind of way with waterfalls, waving fields of grain and rhythmic guttural chants. That being said and with my “it’s never too late attitude”, it is on my bucket list (or in this case: my Fuck-It list). <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Back to the cowboys: If I am going to date one he can’t be a pseudo-cowboy (I draw the line at posers). He needs to be a full-blow honkytonk, bareback ridin’ (uh huh) cowboy with a ranch, in full cowboy garb (minus the dirt, thank you very much). <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As you all know by now, this important decision requires a pros and cons list:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Pros:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"></div><ol><li><span style="font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Fresh eggs for breakfast. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I get to pet the pretty horsies (and if I grow a pair, I may even ride one).</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> I get to see if it’s true that a cowboy only takes his hat off for sex.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> The thought of “wranglin” with a cowboy peaks my curiosity.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> I can yell “Ride ‘em, Cowboy!” and it actually means something.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> If he is a rich cowboy I can quit my job and twirl in fields of poppies (see blog dated January 2, 2012).</span></li>
</ol><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><o:p> </o:p>Cons:</div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"></div><ol><li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Not only do I NOT eat dead mammals, I would probably befriend the animals on the farm and give them names only to find out that he has cut their throats and is eating them for dinner.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Cowboys are renowned for being dirty and I don’t like dirty men (unless it’s minded).</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> I need to be able to understand them and if they are too twang-y that might be an issue.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> I am not sure I can endure the hard-core country music songs that will make me want to shoot myself in the head with a 12 gauge (shut up, I’m sure I could figure it out).</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> If I have to attend a rodeo with him I will probably feel sorry for the animals that are being treated cruelly and try to set them free. He might frown upon such action.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I am guessing most cowboys do not allow the woman to wear the pants/chaps in the relationship. That might be a major issue.</span></li>
</ol><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Well, it seems to be even. I guess if a hot cowboy came knocking on my door, I might try him on for size. In the meantime, if any of you run into Tonto, have him call me. <o:p></o:p></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-35195227358468350862012-02-20T16:19:00.001-05:002012-02-20T16:22:17.850-05:00Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes<div class="MsoNormal">It’s been a few weeks since my daughter announced her college of choice. Oklahoma. Yes, the state. The one out west. Way out there in the wild, wild west. Oklahoma. Where apparently, the winds go sweepin’ down the plain. Oklahoma is only 1292 miles away from our little town in Pennsylvania. That’s it. Only 1292 tiny little miles.</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Oddly enough, I had been under the impression that the last few weeks have been typical with one exception: my neck has been rather immobile. This is not incredibly unusual as I oft have neck issues. It’s either too much head -banging in my heavy metal days or too much head-giving for a lifetime. I am not sure which as I never had it looked into by the medical professionals. Either way, I didn’t find it all that usual. Until a friend pointed out to me that not only have I been pretty much a hermit for the past two weeks, I have barely been on Facebook (completely unheard of), I have not written a blog and my neck issues started when my daughter made her announcement. I wonder if there is a correlation.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Like it or not, it appears that it will soon be time for my life to switch gears a bit. As I have spent much of my time of late lying flat on my back (and not in a good way), I have had lots of time to think. I have been contemplating what I am going to do when my daughter moves over 1000 miles away and I have started to make a list:<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> 1. Clean my house</span></div><div class="MsoNormal">2. Intall n<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">ew carpet</span> </div><div class="MsoNormal">3. Install a sex swing in my daughter’s old room</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That’s all I got. <br />
<br />
Do not despair my friends, I have also considered what I do the second week. Well....more in the long term. I was thinking one of two things: I will either go back to my promiscuous ways or become a crazy cat lady, both of which involve pussy so that when I make my final decision my slogan should be relatively easy.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-11757526057093868442012-01-25T09:46:00.000-05:002012-01-25T09:46:16.683-05:00Strange Introductions<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know I haven’t written a blog in a while. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks which included a trip to a college in Oklahoma (more on that later, but I did learn that cowboys can be cute!). </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just so you all know, I think of you often and dream of the day when I win the lottery and can stay home and write all day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meantime, I will leave you with these introductions I received from a few guys on the dating sites (as always, copied verbatim):<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Apparently, this guy likes blue:<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: "AR JULIAN";">Love the BLUE Finger nail polish in photo 4 . Please dont get me wrong here , your very attractive ... but I like the Blue . Been out with some boring people from this Site . So tired of misrepresentations from people . Im not a Gem , but I am respectful and very good people . I guess I figure I dont misrepresent myself ... why should you . 3 meetings in the past 2 weeks . Nice people but just not anything like the presentation . As to the blue .... The most captivating things I find in a woman I approach . ...Eye contact , shape of mouth , and Hands . I love seeing a woman carry herself strongly and eye contact spells that clearly . The mouth , better said her lips ..her smile Great Stuff .. And her hands say alot about how she tends to herself and her expressions of herself . Dont care for nail biters AND Blue , my favorite color . Regardless if you ever write back ( and obviously Id like that ) Your beautiful , your profile was very nice and seemed genuine , and it would be my pleasure to get to know you . <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another one:<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "AR JULIAN";">I was told once that you should never "need" another person in your life to be happy. That may be true. But there are moments in life meant to be shared with a special person with whom you can communicate without talking; a person whose touch chases away dark clouds of gloom and brings sunshine when the sun is not shining. I want to share simple things like coffee at the kitchen table on a Saturday morning when there is no place you need to go. To prepare meals together and talk and laugh and drink good red wine while you do it. Someone to collapse with on the sofa when the last guest at a party that we will all remember fondly has left. Do you like the smell of wood smoke in the fall when the leaves are changing color? How about the feel of a warm spring breeze on your bare arms after a long winter? Or the chemical reaction when summer sunshine plays on your body? Let's stop and experience these things together. Call me sensuous.</span><span style="font-family: "ACI Sans Narrow","sans-serif";"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">(I will call you sensuous or gay, one or the other – Gina)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And another:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "AR JULIAN"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have blonde hair , deep green eyes, [Im not related to Freddy] 165 lbs and full of pressure, So im told..... I m easy get along with , very understanding, Love the outdoors and different types of music but mostly country. I Like motorcyclen,4x4s, Mustangss, long peaceful walks, bicyclen, Mines, caves, Of course the Juniata river and Raystownlake, amusementparks and all that good stuff. Always willn try new things. I ma hard workn man, Very affectionate! I live alone in my own house, My match: some one honest and careing , not afraid to be themself , down to earth and affectionate, Petite<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ok. That one just confuses me: <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>1. <span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is he signing his name as Petite?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
2.<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume Freddy is someone from a movie that I have never seen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
3.<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The fact that he is “full of pressure” doesn’t sound good in any way.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
4.<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mines collapse, Idiot. Look it up. (Oh, and speaking of looking things up…SPELLCHECK.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And this last one had a picture of the guy holding a fencing sword toward the camera:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "AR JULIAN"; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Looking to meet new people. No expectations, just a chance to get to know each other. Life is a journey and everyone we meet opens a world of possiblities. It is interesting to see the world through the eyes of someone else. I try not to have a plan and take each moment as it comes. If life is a ride, you might as well drive it like you stole it. True wealth is the experiences we have and the people we love. These are the treasures we carry inside. Let's enrich one another.</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s like he had a book of clichés and picked some out, mixed them in with some others and went with it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least he can (mostly) spell and punctuate.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Unfortunately, that’s it for now. </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To my faithful followers, thanks for reading!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hugs,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Gina<o:p></o:p></span></span>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-41597244606935108532012-01-10T22:20:00.000-05:002012-01-10T22:20:21.105-05:00Penes Are Not Pretty<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Personally, I don’t believe in regrets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look back on my life and believe that the majority of it has been pretty damn awesome and from the stuff that wasn’t; I have learned valuable lessons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem is I can’t leave well enough alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have the hardest time leaving the past in the past and not contacting people with whom I used to be friends or lovers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past 6 months, I have come in contact with two ex-boyfriends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One was my fault and the other wasn’t. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first was a guy I dated hot and heavy on and off when I was living in south Florida.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We kept in touch for a number of years afterward but hadn’t spoken in over 10 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had looked for him on Facebook for years and then about 6 months ago, there he was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sent him a friend request, so excited that my years of persistence had paid off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He accepted my friend request and responded back with a message that seemed as happy to find me as I he.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything pretty much went downhill from there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We exchanged cell phone numbers so he could call me later and he did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did he ask me how I have been for the past 10 years? How my daughter is doing as she was then a child and is now an adult? Did he ask how my parents were doing? Nope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All he wanted to do was talk about sex. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here we were 10 minutes into the “conversation” and I am trying to ask him if his parents are still alive and well and he is asking me if I remember our various sexcapades in miniscule detail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was really annoyed. I let him have it about his obvious lack of interest in my life and ended the conversation. Shortly thereafter he started texting me pictures of his dick. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The second guy I ran into while out at a club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our short relationship had not ended well because after a few dates, I started receiving texts from a girl that claimed to be his wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wanting nothing to do with that I ended it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I recently ran into him he asked me for my number to keep in touch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were in a really loud club and I was with friends so I decided I would give him my number and deal with getting rid of him later. He texted me and texted me for a date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I felt that I was very clear that I would not date him again; he wouldn’t seem to get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asked me to meet him for a drink and I agreed figuring that I could be much more clear about my position (or lack thereof) in person. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We met at a local bar and I was succinct in telling him that it was never going to happen and stated that we had always a good time together and could remain friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His response was, “I have enough friends.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alrighty then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Decision made.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thanked him for the drink, excused myself and went home. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then he texted me a picture of dick.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Penises are not pretty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t get me wrong, they are definitely functional and I enjoy them but they are not really the most attractive things in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does a guy really believe that a picture of his johnson is going to make me forget all of the negative feelings I have for him and make me scream “OH MY GOD, I *MUST* HAVE THAT!!”?? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Wow. Some guys are really dumb. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Perhaps if he wrapped a flower around it or put it into a little penis tuxedo (hopefully not too little) before he took a picture of it that might be ok. It wouldn't make me change my mind but it might make the penis more attractive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe. Perhaps if it’s lying on a bed of colorful feathers; or better yet dipped in chocolate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not really sure any of that would help; I’m just throwing stuff out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d5/David_von_Michelangelo.jpg/200px-David_von_Michelangelo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="382" id="il_fi" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d5/David_von_Michelangelo.jpg/200px-David_von_Michelangelo.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Granted, there are famous penises out there that we have all know and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That doesn’t make them attractive, it just makes then famous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take for example Michelangelo’s David with his little twig and berries out there for all to admire. Yes, it does look like he just came out of a cold pool to pose for that; but it’s considered art so that’s ok. That being said, please keep in mind that taking a picture of your schlong and texting it to someone is not considered art (in any medium).<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Even vibrator companies know that a penis is not attractive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s why they make them in pretty colors and give them cute little animal names like “The Rabbit”, “The Dolphin” or “The Butterfly”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although I am willing to concede that giving a real penis various vibratory speeds would help to make it more attractive in general.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Opinions please?<o:p></o:p></span></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-23038395583360720122012-01-02T18:20:00.000-05:002012-01-02T18:20:32.956-05:00Slow and Steady Wins the Race<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A new year is supposed to be a time to reflect and renew; a time to be insightful, change and grow. It is a time to pick yourself up off of the bathroom floor and crawl back into your bed while swearing you will never drink again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See?? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Change and growth.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Personally, I find New Year’s resolutions to be entrapment. Essentially, you are setting yourself up for failure (except that you are doing it with great fanfare!). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why, for example, if I didn’t have the motivation to go to the gym three days ago, do I suddenly have it now? Is it because I got a new calendar? I really want to know where you people are getting your calendars because I bought mine at Big Lots and it doesn’t seem to have the same power. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think that rather than setting myself up for impending failure, I am going to work into these changes slowly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One shouldn’t rush into change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Afterall, </span>it takes 9 months to incubate a baby until it’s ready to come out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a good long time to get used to the idea that you just gave away the next 18+ years of your life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So while I typically don’t do resolutions, I will agree to consider the following: <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will pull my weights and yoga mat out of the deep recesses of my closet, dust them off and place them in a central location where I can look at them often. This will make me have to pick them up (at least weekly) to clean around them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I vow to fight with my teenage daughter less.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This one will be easy as she is leaving for college in the fall, insuring that we will fight less after August.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I will drink more water by adding seltzer to my alcoholic beverages. Hydration is important.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This year I will try to be less cynical. This resolution might be a little bit more difficult than the others, as I am cynical by nature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will have to make a plan and start slowly. Maybe I will start with the drycleaners; although dry-cleaning seems like a racket to me so maybe not. <o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And lastly,<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I resolve to begin to consider the fact that it might be possible that I could maybe have a few issues with relationships and men. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, just because I have a tendency to look at every man I meet as a spirit-stealing succubus that is trying to “cage the wild animal” and change everything about me doesn’t necessarily mean I have major issues, does it? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does the fact that sometimes when I see a hot guy I consider him to be a conquest to be chewed up and spit out (rather than the love of my life) mean that I have issues? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it possible that I need to be more open to letting myself fall in love (as opposed to a deep profound like or a very healthy lust)? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess I could try to be more open to skipping and twirling in a poppy field with that special someone (and not want to want to stab him in the neck because it drives me insane that he isn’t skipping or twirling right). <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I think I will start thinking about these changes tomorrow……or maybe the next day. Hell, I could really wait until spring for that last one since there are no poppy fields in the wintertime anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One has to work into these things slowly.<o:p></o:p></span>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4779551723403899279.post-18889114765152344922011-12-30T10:47:00.001-05:002011-12-30T21:56:55.422-05:00Oh New Year's Eve, How I Hate Thee.<span style="font-family: Calibri;">New Year’s Eve is amateur night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's the night that e</span>very Tom’s hairy dick is out trying to bring the New Year in with a bang (literally). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not saying they go out with this goal in mind; but the later it gets, the more important this goal becomes. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t think I have ever had an awesome, unforgettable time going out on New Year’s Eve. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust me, I have definitely given it the old “college try”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been to every different type of New Year’s celebrations one could imagine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have tried casual clubs, black tie events, and parties large and small at various friends’ homes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None of them has held up to the hype. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Probably my biggest issue with New Year’s is the hugging and kissing of complete drunken strangers at midnight (and for the next ½ hour).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like to be touched by strangers (unless naked and horizontal, but that’s completely different). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems like some people believe The Universe has given everyone permission to jump across social boundaries in the name of another year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just don’t get it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I cannot count the times I have been hugged and kissed –unwillingly- on New Year’s Eve by creepy, smelly, drunken men. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually, it goes something like this:<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Typically sane and conservative married man (perhaps he’s a banker or an accountant) has been drinking and dancing all night long and is now good and toasted (and sweaty).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After having kissed and ditched his wife, he is now in his New Year’s drunken frenzy walking around looking for someone he deems attractive enough to “receive” his celebratory greeting. He takes one look at the boobs and thinks, “I want to smash THOSE against my body” and attacks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually it’s accompanied by a sloppy kiss on the lips. (Blech)<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Married, single, it doesn’t matter. If I am with someone or they are with someone, who cares? It’s a New Year and all bets (and vows) are off. <o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have seen more marital (and physical) fights start on New Year’s Eve by someone kissing a stranger their spouse deems threatening. The alcohol only fuels the fire. Hey! Great way to ring in the New Year….with a black eye or a night in jail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yay!!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Personally, I want to start a new tradition: a nice firm handshake to ring in the New Year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Happy New Year and a nice firm handshake to each and every one of you out there!<o:p></o:p></span></div>Gina Dhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05291225025945934853noreply@blogger.com2