He Was So Hungry He Could Eat A Horse

While perusing Facebook the other day, I ran across a headline from my local newspaper that I refer to as a train wreck: incredibly disturbing but you just can’t look away (a lot like the Anna Nicole Smith show when it was on). The headline read as follows:

“Man accused of breaking into Perry County barn, performing sex act on horse”

Personally, I draw the line at bestiality (see! I do have boundaries!).  But disgusted and dismayed nonetheless, I clicked on the article to see what kind of sick fuck wanted to screw a horse.  Obviously sick fucks (aka Zoophiles) aren’t new.  The history of bestiality is long and sorted from the cave drawings depicting bestiality (circa) 8000 BC to the “sheep shaggers” in Ireland today. So while very little shocks me anymore when it comes to the sexual depravity of man, (or woman- don’t get your boxers in a bunch) this one actually did.  The article reads as follows:

“State Police say a man broke into a barn early today and performed oral sex on a female horse.”

No. Seriously.

Now, I do not profess to know all that much about horses other than one should feed them apples or sugar with a flat hand in order to not get one’s fingers broken when the horse chomps down; therefore, I would not know for a fact where the female horse’s genitalia actually is other than really, really close to its asshole (danger zone! danger zone!). But let’s say for sake of argument this guy is more knowledgeable of the anatomy of a horse than I.  The bigger question here is: sexually speaking, what would this do for the guy?

I mean, I understand the enjoyment and feeling of power one gets for giving pleasure to another, but not really in this particular case. How does he know he is doing it right, much less that she even feels it? After all, the phrase “hung like a horse” is a phrase for a reason.  Maybe the guy felt that he needed practice in fellatio and no one else was available? On the converse side, this idiot is brave, I’ll give him that.  If the horse were to decide she did not enjoy it, I would imagine the kicking that he would receive would get him over his fetish real quick.

So my friend and I were discussing this "incident" this morning over coffee and she tells me I didn’t read far enough.  She insisted that I read some of the comments made by the readers in response to this article.  I have to admit, they did not disappoint.  

The following are some of the better comments:

         “Was this witnessed or did he confess? either way, it is downright disgusting. Get a room!”

To which some smartass responds:

                             “not many rooms you can get that allows a horse...”

This one is my personal favorite:

          “Neigh means neigh.”

Another:

               

“Channel 21 posted this story with the last line, "The name of the horse is being withheld." 

That sound you hear is the earth slowly spinning into the sun.”

This person had a good question:

                “Was it an on-going relationship or just a one-time fling?”

And lastly:

                “The horse was underage. More charges to come….”

                               

You just can't make this shit up.