As one of the author’s readers and close friends, I have
immensely enjoyed the wit and wisdom of her blog. Yet in spite of the
classically distasteful spin regarding online dating sites, I have ventured
down this scary road on my own recently. With little time for the bar scene,
and rare other chances to meet someone of the opposite sex, I thought I would
give it a try. I figured it could not be as bad as everyone says. Certainly the
horror stories and blog posts are exaggerated, under artistic license, to
enhance the reader’s enjoyment. But alas, I was wrong.
The stories, if anything, have been underplayed. Either in
an effort to protect the guilty or at least to not completely disenfranchise
the reader, she has made it seem that online dating is suspect, inconvenient,
and fraught with small dangers. It is a lot worse than that. It is a minefield
of misrepresentation, outright lunacy, and enough unresolved issues for a
thousand doctorate degrees in psychology.
I joined a common dating site, and like most, the users are
encouraged to post pictures. In fact, I am sure that profiles without pictures
are readily dismissed, as it is a prominent criterion for any search you may
want to do. The site makes it convenient to quickly eliminate the profiles
without pictures. Yes, we are all still hard-wired to be physically attracted
to our mates, at least initially. I know beauty is only skin deep, but butt-ugly is more often than not a deal breaker. So I have had to peruse thousands of
pictures of single women. Seriously, what are these women thinking? If a picture is
worth a thousand words, some of these photos are screaming in a foreign language.
As a community service, I thought I would share some
suggestions for female dating site users that may help.
1.
If your profile says that all your kids are over
18, then the picture you have with your son when he was 8 may be considered
outdated.
2.
If you only post one picture, and it is a group
shot of you and your girlfriends at some event, try letting us know which one
you are. Me: “Are you the one in the middle?” Her: “No, I am the one second from
the left.” Me: “Can you introduce me to the one in the middle?”
3.
If you are posting a picture of you with your
pet, that’s great. If it is just a picture of your pet, don’t bother. I am not
looking to date your pet (though some men on the site might be).
4.
If your profile says you are not looking
for sex or “one night stands”, avoid the pictures of you on
your bed dressed in lingerie. It sends a mixed signal.
5.
If you want to post something sexy or
provocative, avoid the overhead shot looking down your cleavage. It is way
overdone. Every woman has tits and there is probably a classier way to insure
he knows you have big ones. If you’re not looking for sex, see suggestion
above.
6.
If you post multiple pictures and they are all
close-up face shots, we are going to assume you are "larger than life" (and I am not talking personality here).
7.
If your profile says you drink socially, it's probably best to not have every picture you post be of you in a bar with a drink in your hand. Unless, of
course, you mean “socially” as in anytime I am near people.
8.
Don’t post an old picture of you and your ex
from your wedding. Not sure exactly why this doesn’t work, but it just doesn’t.
9.
Don’t post pictures in which you are not pictured. No one
cares about your favorite poem, the cool picture of butterflies you found on
the internet, or your grandma’s cookie recipe.
10.
Don’t post the picture you got from “Glamour
Shots”. Men can recognize them easily and we know you don’t look like that
without hours of hair and make-up work done in a professionally lit studio.
11.
Be aware of your background. The great pic of
you can be a turn off if behind you is a kitchen table full of junk, dishes
overflowing out of the sink, or your 200 count Prozac prescription bottle.
12.
Don’t take a picture of yourself in the mirror
holding your phone. This screams that you don’t have at least one friend who
would be willing to take a picture for you.
Thanks for reading and happy hunting!
In his spare time, Brad writes his own incredibly intelligent blog. Check it out:
Hugs, Gina
Good advice Brad.....
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