This is a question I have asked myself numerous times over the past year. And I still don’t have the answer.
I have a few friends that are dating younger guys and I will admit that it looks like fun. They do exciting things on their weekends: last minute jaunts to the beach or Baltimore, going out dancing until the wee hours of the morning, that type of thing. Most of these women were married and divorced and have a kid or two that their exes take on alternating weekends, thus freeing them up for unencumbered weekend fun. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? One of my biggest problems is that I have a tendency to over-analyze everything. At times it can be a bit stifling but for the most part it works well into my "plan for the worst and hope for the best" personality. On this particular subject however, it seems to be more stifling than good. I am having a difficult time with the concept of dating a younger guy because after the night out of drinking and dancing and the awesome sex that I am sure will ensue: what the hell will we have to talk about the next morning? What his mom packed him for lunch yesterday? Does he like syrup on his pancakes??
About a month after the infamous Vern incident, I was feeling restless again. I pulled up my profile on the free site and sat there with my finger hovering over the “unhide your profile” button pondering the lost hours that I will never get back from the last stint of online dating, corrected myself for overthinking, and clicked the button. I’m back!
Within minutes (and I do mean minutes) of reposting my profile I get the following message from a 25 year-old guy:Him: I would like to chat with you, email me at handyman38 at yahew dot com or yahew messanger”
Ok, first let’s just stop and feel bad for this poor guy. He must have a huge complex from the lack of responses he is receiving because he can’t even spell his email address correctly. Sweetie, when it comes to email addresses, spelling is important.
But he was cute and I was bored so I thought I would respond.
Me: Hi. What would you like to chat about? I mean, you are cute but pretty young. Looking for some motherly advice?
Him: Lol hahah No I don't need any advice now. Do you have facebook? We could chat on there if you would like.
While he was shiny and new (and looked really bendy), I didn’t respond further. I really don’t need some 25 year old kid verbally masturbating all over my Facebook page. I am pretty sure my 18 year old daughter would disown me. If fact, I would have to say that I need to automatically dismiss any man in his 20’s as I would not want to fish from the same dating pool as my daughter.
So what about men in their 30’s? And again, where does one draw the line? Is early 30’s too young for a 45 year old woman? While I am not adverse to this concept, I have to wonder if this is about a relationship or sex.
If it’s about a relationship, many men in their 30’s are still open to having kids of their own (have fun with that) and still have the infamous mid-life crisis to go through (have fun with that too) in which case I would imagine they would buy a convertible and dump me like a hot potato for a blond Barbie.
If this is about sex (and I’m ok with that, let’s just establish that from the beginning), a younger guy has that putty-in-my-hands sheen and that innocent, eager-to-learn look on his face. I like that in a guy. Also, most likely, he would allow me to tell him what to do outside of the bedroom too; another plus when my house needs cleaning or the garbage needs to go out. But after the sex and the chores, what the hell would we have to talk about?
My head is beginning to hurt. I think I am thinking too much.
Footnote: Don't try and email him, Ladies. I changed his email address!
You are DEFINITELY thinking too much. You need to go with the flow. :-)
ReplyDeleteAs always WAY TOO MUCH over analyzing! Why are you worried about what you will talk about in the morning? What makes you think he wants to talk? Turn on ESPN for him and go enjoy coffee with your friends and let him put his own damn syrup on his own damn pancakes. Now go get it done!
ReplyDeleteas Bryden says Gina go with the flow just enjoy the moment as it happens ,this is an experience I would say early 30s and up is a fine age they should be established by then and still have the stamina too satisfy your drive ,it all comes down too what you want Gina (one night stands or steady relationship )regardless this is about you and nobody else stop thinking on what ifs and live for the moment as it happens ,and as Rich says who cares about the morning after it is about your satisfaction get satisfied and if afterwards he does not intrigue you then kick him too the curb and have the great memory of the night b4.because I guarantee no matter how rude you are too him the next day ,if later on you want that boy toy again he will come back begging for more,cause as you know men are such pigs.
ReplyDeleteBoy does Brian have the right mind of it all. I also agree 30's and up is a good start. And the next morning, if he does not like what you do, he can leave. No regrets. Keep it up great stories.
ReplyDeletePlus, it's not like he's wearing overalls and a backward baseball cap with a yo-yo in his pocket. He's in his thirties, like me, and we find plenty to talk about.
ReplyDeleteSend him home (or leave) after the sex and don't worry about what to talk about in the morning. Not very romantic, but eliminates the dilemma. That'll probably satisfy the average younger guy, too, because then he won't have to worry about what to talk about with an older woman. He will go home disoriented and wonder what just happened. The conversation - if it becomes necessary - will figure itself out, or not.
ReplyDelete