Dating the Virgin

I dated a guy for a few months while living in Florida. He was tall, dark and handsome with a very large shoe size (if you know what I mean) and, as it turns out, he was a 28 year old virgin. 

He first disclosed this tidbit of information at a very inopportune moment. We had already been out on a few dates that had ended with the usual good night kisses.  One night we had gone out again and things were progressing along nicely as we were lying on the couch, getting hot and heavy, when everything grinds to a screeching halt as he sits up and inform me of his virginal status.  My first thought was “Awwww, poor guy! What terribly mean girls you have been dating! You have clearly been hanging around with the wrong crowd! It’s a good thing you met me when you did!”

When he told me that his virginity was by choice, I was more than a little confused.  Not only was he not overly religious, we had gotten to the point where we were already half way there! Dude!?!  A little disclosure in advance of this moment would have been nice.

At that point I was still convinced that the right girl just hadn’t come along to help him realize what he was missing, and that I was just the girl to do that (cause I am sweet like that - always trying to help others). As self-control is not really my strong suit (to say the least), I really thought that there was no way after dating me for a period of time, that he would be able to maintain it.  Not because I was the end all, be all (ok, back in those days I thought I was pretty close) but because he would allow us to do everything else other than the “final act”. I figured if we…I don’t know….slipped and fell into it, that it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I would really be doing him a favor….

Let me just stop here and say how cruel I think this is on his part.  Not the virginity part.  You want to keep your virginity, that’s great. If it means that much to you that you save yourself for your wedding night, having no idea whatsoever if the person you are about to spend eternity with (or hopefully, at least a couple of years) completely sucks in the sack (and I don’t mean that in a good way); I encourage you (and wish you luck) in doing that.  On the other hand, it’s not right to flaunt something in front of someone that they can’t have (especially something that large). That’s just rude! Seriously, pick a side. Either you are really good and virtuous or you aren’t. You are walking a very fine line convincing yourself that you are still moral while being planted firmly in someone’s mouth. Sorry, but I don’t think it works that way.

The way I see it is this: let’s say someone gives you a bus (drops it in your lap, so to speak), would YOU drive it around town alone and not invite any friends to ride along with you? Yeah. Me either.  It’s just selfish to show your awesome bus to the world and not share it.  Keep your stupid bus in the garage where we don’t all want to sit on it.

Anyway, after a few months of getting this close to showing him exactly what the hell it is that he’d been missing, and continually having him say “No” at the last minute, it became increasingly (and when I say increasingly, I mean frustratingly) apparent that he was serious about this virgin thing.  I even told him I could bring him closer to God (or at least make him call out to God a couple hundred times) but I was unable to convince him to give it up (I note here that if I believed in hell, I might be concerned at this point. But I don’t; so I’m good). He really was saving himself for marriage. Well good for him.

Don’t get me wrong, I did have a lot of respect for his willpower and the fact that he was holding out until marriage.  Having little willpower myself, I was somewhat in awe of his.  For….like… a minute. I was in my early 20’s and had no desire for marriage (there were oats that needed sowing) and as the “virgin boat” had already sailed for me, I had saw no reason (and had no desire) to re-dock it.  

Needless to say, after a few months, the whole thing just got old. I’m sure to some degree my ego had taken a hit in that, in all my awesomeness, I was unable to convince him to let it go.  So at that point, I ended it with him. Amazingly enough he had the nerve to be pissed about it!  What the hell did HE have to be pissed about?? Geez. Some virgins are so touchy.

Maybe if he’d gotten some he wouldn’t have had so much anger inside…